Sea of Thieves is the SHIT.
I played this game HARD at Gamescom, and it played me even HARDER. All my life I've lived by an important principle - try to recreate my real-life idiocy in games by going off the rails and doing stupid things you shouldn't be able to do. Things like drinking too much, attacking things you clearly shouldn't, and completely ignoring quests/missions/etc.
Sea of Thieves was such a mindfuck for me. I had absolutely no desire to abandon the storyline as there was none. I had no reason to search for inappropriate things to do, as my drunken dream gameplay unfolded right before my eyes as intended by Rare. I literally spawned in a pub, surrounded by 5 of my hideous looking shipmates(controlled by other players btw, not AI). My only goal, to get so fucked up I could barely stand and then try to board our ship completely shitfaced. We had several "man overboard" incidents before we were even on our fucking boat.
I was so thrilled. I didn't even need to go to the bar for my drink, since I apparently spawned with it. I also spawned with an accordion to sloppily play between drinks. And for a brief moment, I doubted things could get better. How could it get better? 2 minutes into the game I was in a drunken group of morons trying to stumble aboard a vessel that requires calculated teamwork to operate. Surely the game will get serious now...right?
WRONG. Now I should mention that one of the members of our shitfaced pirate squad was a Rare dev, leading us on our journey of inebriation. As we all finally boarded the ship he gave us some standard orders to man the crows nest, man the sails, and help him raise the anchor. We did so in a very disorderly fashion, and before I knew it we were out on the sea looking for other people to harm and places to pillage. As the crew was focused on trying to catch the wind in the sails, and steer us away from rocks, I decided to start firing our cannons for no reason. I fully expected the Rare dev to scold me, or tell me to do something else, but he didn't. He just stood there playing his accordion, staring at me while I blasted perfectly good cannonballs at the stupid ocean. It was in this moment that I knew this game was for me.
Shortly after that, we spotted another ship and decided to attack it. As we turned towards the enemy everyone started manning the cannons. Now at this point I was tired of firing the cannons, so I decided to move on to something else. Right behind me it said on the screen "hold x to drop anchor", so I did. Now I must say it was quite funny to me that raising the anchor was a task requiring several people but dropping it only took a split-second of my time. Upon screeching to a halt, the Rare dev who had been standing on the bow giving us directions was sent flying off the ship. And while the rest of the crew scrambled to raise the anchor back up so we could go rescue him, I took the opportunity to drink some more and make my way up to the ship's wheel.
Once we had raised the anchor, the Rare dev instructed whoever was at the wheel to steer us right towards him but I went left instead. I am a strong believer in "when it's your time to go, it's your time to go". And when I drunkenly pulled the ship's e-brake effectively sending him into the sea, it became his time to go. I was the captain now.
My first decision as captain of the vessel was to test the ship's durability. I aimed us at the nearest ship and told everyone to make their peace with God. As my team of scallywags braced for impact, the Rare dev respawned on the ship like a wizard hellbent on foiling my plans. At this point there was a mutiny against me, which I thought was bullshit given how much I had done for the crew. But ultimately it was too late and everyone knew it. We were the Titanic and the other ship was the iceberg. And despite their best efforts to undo what I had done, the ships crashed into each other perfectly and came to a complete stop alongside one another. Cannons fired, and point blank warfare exploded into action. A dozen people attacked each other and the ships began to sink while I played my accordion. I have never felt more alive.
At this point the demo was over, and I felt an overwhelming sense of accomplishment. I can't wait for this game. It will literally allow me to play out my dreamlife as a drunken imbecile while simultaneously annoying real people. 2017 can't come soon enough.
