Things that make you SAD thread.

[Freddeno]

Fucks sake.. Hope she will be ok Parkin...

 

[FrankMunro-371]

Just had a call to advise that my Daughter in Law is in St Georges intensive care having after suffering a brain aneurysm yesterday lunchtime & was operated on this morning.

Too early for any prognosis & fortunately my son was working from home & not at the other end of the country as he could well have been. Was found unconcious by a passerby in her car in the work car park so again fortunate that she was found quickly & hadn't started driving home.

She is only 37 FFS

So very sorry to hear this. Our thoughts are with you at this difficult time.

 

[PPB]

Just had a call to advise that my Daughter in Law is in St Georges intensive care having after suffering a brain aneurysm yesterday lunchtime & was operated on this morning.

Too early for any prognosis & fortunately my son was working from home & not at the other end of the country as he could well have been. Was found unconcious by a passerby in her car in the work car park so again fortunate that she was found quickly & hadn't started driving home.

She is only 37 FFS

Thoughts go out to you at this extremely difficult and worrying time. I know this won't ease your worries but wanted to share this with you. My hubbys eldest daughter had a brain aneurysm and stroke at aged 24. She came through it, went onto get a degree, and is now a counselor for people who have gone through the same thing. She is now 42, she does get tired, extremely tired, but lives a very happy and normal life.

As I say, I know this won't ease your worries Parkin, but just wanted to share it with you.I wish the same outcome for your Daughter in Law as what my step daughter has had.

 

[lemonjelly]

Fingers crossed things work out positively PLF!

 

[Jabbawolf]

Just had a call to advise that my Daughter in Law is in St Georges intensive care having after suffering a brain aneurysm yesterday lunchtime & was operated on this morning.

Too early for any prognosis & fortunately my son was working from home & not at the other end of the country as he could well have been. Was found unconcious by a passerby in her car in the work car park so again fortunate that she was found quickly & hadn't started driving home.

She is only 37 FFS

Fingers crossed for you, mate.

 

[So Long Architect]

Best wishes for a happy outcome PLF. An awful thing to happen.

 

[visage]

This.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertain...st_id=10152826212192026_10153932682077026#_=_

Not the content itself. But the contrast. Can you imagine Trump speaking this powerfully? This eloquently?

He'll be the first president in history to award the Presidential Medal of Freedom to himself.

 

[The Bear]

I really liked him. In an ideal world he'd have carried on. He spoke very well about gun rights too.

 

[visage]

Just had a call to advise that my Daughter in Law is in St Georges intensive care having after suffering a brain aneurysm yesterday lunchtime & was operated on this morning.

Too early for any prognosis & fortunately my son was working from home & not at the other end of the country as he could well have been. Was found unconcious by a passerby in her car in the work car park so again fortunate that she was found quickly & hadn't started driving home.

She is only 37 FFS

My thoughts are with you and your family.

 

[Parkins left foot]

Thanks for the wishes folks (PPB also thank you for that info - hopefully we will get an outcome of at least as good as that)

Worst thing at the moment is not knowing what is happening. I live 120 miles away and the last thing they need right now is me rushing up there when there is nothing I can do that is not already being done, or phoning/texting every hour for updates as I know my son will contact me when there is something to say.

His mother lives a lot nearer for moral support & my other son is nearer still so can deal with any running around & practical help that is needed. Just that no information makes ones brain go into overdrive as to where things stand.

 

[darlowolf64]

Just seen your news Peter...My thoughts are with you and your family. Hope all goes well following the operation

 

[lemonjelly]

Thanks guys.

I know it can't all be people just humouring me about my writing, that internal monologue won't go away though, there's always the nagging doubt that I'm no good. That'll always be there I suppose, it's how much I can suppress that with y'know, evidence that it's wrong.

I have good days, I have bad days. The positive is that it used to be a ratio of 10 bad to 1 good and it's probably the other way round now. If you can't eradicate a problem then at least try to minimise it.

Openness is a big thing for me I think, bottling stuff up gets me nowhere and I can be a hard person to read at times, so the more insight I can give, the better I reckon. There are a lot of people on this forum alone who've helped me in ways I can't repay and I'll always be eternally grateful for that.

Had a think, and will try to post some vague ramblings.
My thoughts aren't from clinical experience. However I have lived with people with MH, and currently work within a role that spends 40-50% of the time working on MH & associated support.

I think that we are so far away from understanding MH and its impacts (one term "depression" being far too common in general use without any real understanding of its variations and complexity) create much of the social issue around it, and supports many of the common social misconceptions.

I've started to think a lot about MH. Your other blog post about it made a reference (I paraphrase, and if I've misinterpreted, apologise in advance) to looking forward to the day of being "cured". I'm not 100% that is the case, partially down to our social desire to medicinalise everything. Some of my work with people recently diagnosed with MH is around adapting to something that is always going to be there. Kinda like addiction. In example, the alcoholic who hasn't drunk for x years.

My issue brings me back to what the individual can do. Easier said than done of course, especially when someone is gripped by the manifestation of their condition. However, I'm very drawn to a version of Hamlet's "nothing is good or bad, except our thinking makes it so". If that is the case, and things result in depression, anxiety and similar, then how, in the way we frame the world, and equally ourselves, can we limit or work towards eradicating such a perspective? And if we can, would it improve our MH?

Your blog refers particularly to your inner voice:

that internal voice is always there:

“You’re hopeless, Lavelle”

“You’ve let everyone down, you know”

“You’re bluffing this. You haven’t got a fucking clue what you’re doing, have you”

“Why does anyone like you? You’re rubbish pal. A joker”

“Imagine you died tomorrow, what would they put on your gravestone. Nothing. Because you’ve done nothing. You’re a fucking mug and I don’t know why anyone likes you”

“I hope you die, you cunt”

For me, there's an issue here in the self perspective. My question, is that a consequence of the depression/anxiety? Or a cause (or contributory factor)? If it is the second, we move to consider what could be done to address that.

You then say:

I try extremely hard to make people proud these days and I feel immensely frustrated when I can’t. I suppose I have expectations somewhere in my subconscious that are way too high and I can’t get rid of them.

This leads me to wonder, if my prior assumption is possible, then equally would a manner of adjusting your expectations lead to a reduction in your stress, anxiety or smilar? And if so, would that improve your MH?

Next:

I constantly fret that my friends will ditch me when they find out what a fraud I am, that everything I have right now is holding by a thread.

I actually believe that more people feel this way than just those affected by MH issues. I do. At some point every day these and similar thoughts occur to me. And I've talked with many others - colleagues at work in significant, well paid (much higher than me) roles also experience such feelings a lot more regularly than one would expect. And these are people I observe regularly performing brilliantly. For you, these feelings feel so specific to you, because they're personal. It feels very *in here* (whether that is in your head, or your heart. It feels like you.) Perhaps some of the people you observe who appear very socially in control, articulate and witty have very similar fears.

In the "future" section I feel you hit a lot of nail on the head stuff. I query very strongly the notion of "normal" (I just personally hate the phrase). But some distinct belief in your strengths, allied to a management/re-assessment of expectations can be a good thing to address MH issues. Likewise, a reduction in comparing ourselves to others can help.

A final point. The title of the blog doesn't really need the "of sorts" bit does it? It's a progress piece.

Apologies for pyscho-analyzing you a bit in an attempt to understand MH in a wider sense. I appreciate that you and others may disagree with some/all of what I've posted (my own insecurities/anxieties there). If I went into more detail, I'd be here all night, and think a proper chat with you sometime might be a way where both of us could get some additional understanding of a subject we're both aware we know too little about.

 

[Paul]

Dan

I can only echo LJ's sentiments in my own way.
I would gladly buy your used underpants off Ebay, boil a kettle, find the biggest mug I can,soak the aforementioned garments, and make some sweet Dan Tea.

 

[visage]

*Turns off forum*
*Deletes forum*
*Deletes entire internet*

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

A lot to consider there LJ and you're probably right that it's best to properly go into it in person. I don't want this to become Dan's Big Self-Indulgence Thread. A lot of what I have to work through is self-esteem/self-worth based, and I'm doing plenty of work to make it less of an issue. I *am* doing better than I was, that's the main thing.

Paul, you know I'm single at the moment, there's no need to be coy.

 

[Squeeze]

Listening to the testimony of the men abused by Bennell. How hard this must have been for them. Heartbreaking. I hope they and all the other boys who must have been affected find some peace. I really really hope that no child ever has to go through this again.

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

Listening to the testimony of the men abused by Bennell. How hard this must have been for them. Heartbreaking. I hope they and all the other boys who must have been affected find some peace. I really really hope that no child ever has to go through this again.

The story is getting worse by the day.

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2016/nov/25/crewe-barry-bennell-former-board-member

It's classic use of power and bullying from a predator and Crewe in particular have a hell of a lot to answer for. I have no doubt that they knew.

 

[Freddeno]

just to continue this sad thread, tonight my uncle has also died, but just like my mother I was able to say my goodbyes and all..

 

[Langers]

Bloody hell Fred. There really are no words. I'm so sorry.

 

[PPB]

just to continue this sad thread, tonight my uncle has also died, but just like my mother I was able to say my goodbyes and all..

This has really been a shit year for you fred.So sorry for your loss, and I hope next year will bring more joy for you and not sadness.