Things that make you SAD thread.

[b3h]

Perfect place to vent dude. Obvious words but try not to stress and worry. And hope that asap you get some info and also that its not as bad as you might be thinking at the min

 

[Parkins left foot]

I'm not sure whether I'm angry or sad. My Grandad has got advanced stage of dementia, which has accelerated in the past year since he was found wondering around on the streets in his slippers and was only identified because he had medication on him. He's been moved around from place to place who won't have him because he's been too much for them (sometimes he got quite violent, sadly). Anyway, it got to the point where he has been at the only place in Swansea who will have him. I went to visit him not that long ago which had quite an impact on me because it is a horrible place to have to visit. He can barely speak coherently and he certainly didn't recognise me. Only five years ago he was the oldest referee in Wales and was driving up until just a couple of years ago . This was a really, clever, funny, caring man who has never recovered since my Nan tragically died on holiday and it's absolutely heartbreaking.

The reason I am angry however is because we've found out today that a member of staff has been suspended (and is being investigated) for apparently abusing him. My Mum and Aunt, next of kin who they will only give more details too, are on holiday which has left my cousins who are my age to go and see if he's okay. They aren't back until Saturday so we are left really unsure and a bit helpless too with the bare minimum of information which is pretty horrible to think about too. Absolute nightmare situation.

I've been shaking with anger most of the afternoon and I had to get it off my chest somewhere otherwise I was going to end up causing damage to something, which would be most unlike me...it makes me sick that a person would target someone so vulnerable.

Really sorry to hear this YW - too many occasions that this happens

CCTV in the room may help, though you shouldn't have to resort to that. There is a need to pay enough to get proper staffing into these homes where (because we are all living longer) have more vulnerable older people in. Better spending funds on that than x£billions to get people to Birmingham quicker or £ 300 per day for timeservers in the House of Lords, most of whom are a waste of space anyway.

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

Hard stuff Louie.

My Grandad went the same way, he was an absolute legend, but by the end he didn't know who he was, who I was, and he did get violent at times. Which just wasn't him, he was a proper gentleman, war hero, Wolves fan going back to the 1930s. Dementia is a horrible disease.

Remember him for who he was, not what's going on now. And these cunts at the home will doubtless get what's coming to them.

 

[YoungWolf]

That's horrible, YW.

Perfect place to vent dude. Obvious words but try not to stress and worry. And hope that asap you get some info and also that its not as bad as you might be thinking at the min

Really sorry to hear this YW - too many occasions that this happens

CCTV in the room may help, though you shouldn't have to resort to that. There is a need to pay enough to get proper staffing into these homes where (because we are all living longer) have more vulnerable older people in. Better spending funds on that than x£billions to get people to Birmingham quicker or £ 300 per day for timeservers in the House of Lords, most of whom are a waste of space anyway.

Thank you guys. I think the lack of information is what makes it hard not to worry.

At the moment I can't think of anything other than CCTV that has caught the person. My Grandad can barely speak and when he does it is gibberish. They are reassuring us that he's okay but I'm not sure I'm comfortable that he is still in there! (not that he has anywhere else to go)

 

[YoungWolf]

Hard stuff Louie.

My Grandad went the same way, he was an absolute legend, but by the end he didn't know he was, who I was, and he did get violent at times. Which just wasn't him, he was a proper gentleman, war hero, Wolves fan going back to the 1930s. Dementia is a horrible disease.

Remember him for who he was, not what's going on now. And these cunts at the home will doubtless get what's coming to them.

Thank you mate. Sorry to hear about your Grandad too. It strips away who the person was but I'm trying to make sure I remember him for what a hero he was.

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

Thank you mate. Sorry to hear about your Grandad too. It strips away who the person was but I'm trying to make sure I remember him for what a hero he was.

It's 10 years come October since we lost him. I still miss him terribly but I know he played a massive part in making me the bloke I am today. And hopefully that's a good thing

Sounds very much like your Grandad would be very proud of all you have achieved in the last couple of years.

 

[YoungWolf]

I hope so

 

[lemonjelly]

I'm not sure whether I'm angry or sad. My Grandad has got advanced stage of dementia, which has accelerated in the past year since he was found wondering around on the streets in his slippers and was only identified because he had medication on him. He's been moved around from place to place who won't have him because he's been too much for them (sometimes he got quite violent, sadly). Anyway, it got to the point where he has been at the only place in Swansea who will have him. I went to visit him not that long ago which had quite an impact on me because it is a horrible place to have to visit. He can barely speak coherently and he certainly didn't recognise me. Only five years ago he was the oldest referee in Wales and was driving up until just a couple of years ago . This was a really, clever, funny, caring man who has never recovered since my Nan tragically died on holiday and it's absolutely heartbreaking.

The reason I am angry however is because we've found out today that a member of staff has been suspended (and is being investigated) for apparently abusing him. My Mum and Aunt, next of kin who they will only give more details too, are on holiday which has left my cousins who are my age to go and see if he's okay. They aren't back until Saturday so we are left really unsure and a bit helpless too with the bare minimum of information which is pretty horrible to think about too. Absolute nightmare situation.

I've been shaking with anger most of the afternoon and I had to get it off my chest somewhere otherwise I was going to end up causing damage to something, which would be most unlike me...it makes me sick that a person would target someone so vulnerable.

Very tough stuff mate.
My grandad was got by cancer. He was clearly ill prior to being taken into hospital. I was hugely angry at the time, as his GP blatantly didn't give a fuck, and kept sending him home. My nan was 75 at the time and was having to carry him to the toilet FFS.
This was 20 years ago now. I'm still fucking fuming about it.
I saw him the day before he died. I gave him a shave. I remember his blue eyes looking at me - as insightful as ever.
My grandad was the best. Never a bad word about anyone. Never saw him angry. He only ever supported me.
I still feel angry with myself for how as a stupid fucking teenager I didn't see him and my nan more. I know now that nothing would have made them happier than to see me, but selfish fuck that I was, I went off doing stuff with my mates. I so regret that now.

I too still think about my grandad every day. I really miss him. I still play with his bowls. I don't mind admitting that typing this little paragraph has really teared me up. Missing him is still raw.

Focus on the good times that you shared mate. Remember the happiness.

 

[YoungWolf]

Very tough stuff mate.
My grandad was got by cancer. He was clearly ill prior to being taken into hospital. I was hugely angry at the time, as his GP blatantly didn't give a fuck, and kept sending him home. My nan was 75 at the time and was having to carry him to the toilet FFS.
This was 20 years ago now. I'm still fucking fuming about it.
I saw him the day before he died. I gave him a shave. I remember his blue eyes looking at me - as insightful as ever.
My grandad was the best. Never a bad word about anyone. Never saw him angry. He only ever supported me.
I still feel angry with myself for how as a stupid fucking teenager I didn't see him and my nan more. I know now that nothing would have made them happier than to see me, but selfish fuck that I was, I went off doing stuff with my mates. I so regret that now.

I too still think about my grandad every day. I really miss him. I still play with his bowls. I don't mind admitting that typing this little paragraph has really teared me up. Missing him is still raw.

Focus on the good times that you shared mate. Remember the happiness.

Thanks LJ. Sorry about your Grandad too. And fortunately I do have some great memories with him which I will always cherish/

It turns out there have been two people suspended. It usually takes a 2/3 of people to change his clothes. The first person has apparently hit him and the second person did not report it. Luckily there was a third person from what I know who did. I feel like a few year ago that wouldn't have been the case so it is fortunate in a way. The poor guy though, I don't feel comfortable about him being there but it's the only place in Swanse which hasn't got rid of him already. They are claiming it is a one off inccident but I am just not sure I buy it

 

[Derby Wolf]

Really sorry to hear this YW. My nan has had the same experience. A member of staff walked in on another member of staff.

The witness in our case did everything right in alerting the home manager but refused to make a statement to the police and went on the sick with stress. Without the statement it was decided there wasn't enough evidence that this person was the culprit.

If I remember correctly the abuse report will be sent to the Office of the Public Guardian who upon review will issue an SAAR (Safeguarding Adults at Risk) referral which will bring in the local authority adult social services. A decision case by case is made who leads the investigation, the OFG or local social workers. Although only an allegation at this stage the police and other agencies (such as disclosure and barring service) will be notified that something may happen.

Your family will eventually sit with somebody from the OFG, a social worker, police officer and the hone manager who will keep you/them updated on the investigation and the final decision.

I hope by telling you the process it gives you some shred of comfort that there a small army of people on your gramps side who are desperate to do right by him. I, like you, was beyond fucked off when I found out. I hope you get a good outcome.

 

[FrankMunro-371]

Very sorry to hear this Lincs. And any staff member found guilty of abuse should be prosecuted. It is disgraceful that these things occur.

 

[FrankMunro-371]

After all her suffering my mother in law passed away peacefully in her sleep last night. I know it is wrong to say this, but both the good lady and myself felt a certain amount of relief that she is now pain free and in the arms of the Lord.

Rest in peace Margaret. Always loved and never forgotten.

 

[darlowolf64]

After all her suffering my mother in law passed away peacefully in her sleep last night. I know it is wrong to say this, but both the good lady and myself felt a certain amount of relief that she is now pain free and in the arms of the Lord.

Rest in peace Margaret. Always loved and never forgotten.

My deepest sympathy to yourself and Christine, Dave

 

[Dublin Drummer Wolf]

After all her suffering my mother in law passed away peacefully in her sleep last night. I know it is wrong to say this, but both the good lady and myself felt a certain amount of relief that she is now pain free and in the arms of the Lord.

Rest in peace Margaret. Always loved and never forgotten.

Condolences to you and your lady

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

None of us want to see our loved ones suffer and sometimes it genuinely is best that they go. As awful as it is.

All the very best to the pair of you mate, you know where I am if you ever want to talk.

 

[The Bear]

Very sorry to hear that David. My best wishes and condolences to you and especially Christine.

 

[Langers]

Thinking of you and Christine, David.

Deepest condolences.

 

[Paul]

So so sorry for you and Christine, my deepest condolences as well.

 

[Freddeno]

My thoughts to YW and Lincs too, know how it feels after losing my mom and uncle within 10 days in november last year..

 

[FrankMunro-371]

Thank you, the messages of support we have received, not only on here, but from other people has been much appreciated.