The Laughter Cemetery

[Wolf Hunting]

The frequency of sexual activity of senior males depends on where they were born.
.
Statistics just released from Statistics Canada and The United Nations B.O.H. Team, revealing that:
English men between 60 and 78 years of age, will on average, have sex two to three times per week, (and a small number a lot more), whereas Japanese men, in exactly the same age group, will have sex only once or twice per year if they are lucky.

This has come as very upsetting news to both me and most of my friends, as none of us had any idea we were Japanese.

 

[Tyrannosaurus Dan]

A man was hospitalised with four plastic horses stuck up his arse. The doctor has described his condition as stable.

Made me laugh far more than it should have!

 

[Wolf Hunting]

I now realise that my post on Facebook wasn't very well put.

I said, "I've just buggered a 14 year old escort."
I now realise that, "I've blown the head gasket on my 2002 XR3i" would have looked better, however, the police still haven't seen the funny side, my laptop's been confiscated, and the wife has gone off to her mother.

 

[The Bear]

A Roman walks into a bar and holds two fingers up and says "five beers please".

 

[The Bear]

I got offered a job by the Brittle Bones Society paying £100k a year.

Needless to say I snapped their hands off.

 

[FrankMunro-371]

This morning I saw four men carrying a coffin around the cemetery. Two hours later they were still carrying it. They had obviously lost the plot.

 

[Newbridge Wolf]

I turned into a Cat earlier,

Don't ask Meow.

 

[Dublin Drummer Wolf]

I turned into a Cat earlier,

Don't ask Meow.

Love it

 

[Sniffer]

Some of these are in the wrong thread.

 

[Newbridge Wolf]

People often ask me what my Mrs does, but its difficult to say really..

She sells seashells on the sea shore.

 

[Newbridge Wolf]

My dog only responds to commands in Spanish.

He's Espanyol!

 

[FrankMunro-371]

Newbridge, some of your jokes are nearly as good as mine...

 

[Newbridge Wolf]

Newbridge, some of your jokes are nearly as good as mine...

I love your jokes Frank!

 

[FrankMunro-371]

I love your jokes Frank!

Thank you.

Two drunks were stumbling home along a pair of railway tracks. The first drunk complains "There's a hell of a lot of steps here."

The second drunk replies "I'll tell you what's worse, this hand rail is very low down."

 

[FrankMunro-371]

I know someone who tried to run away after camouflaging a railway. He tried to cover his tracks.

 

[FrankMunro-371]

Been really struggling with my hearing of late so decided to visit my Doctor. He sits me down and asks me to describe the symptoms.......I said 'no problem...Homer's a bald bloke with a beer belly & Marge has blue hair............

 

[BillyDee]

Actual lol
:tiphat:

 

[The Bear]

Yeah not bad for a change! Well done Frank. Stopped clock and all that!

 

[BillyDee]

What do the Dutch national team and Arsenal have in common?

Both of their managers are Blind.

 

[FrankMunro-371]

Two Cannibals were eating a clown. One Cannibal turned to the other and asked, “Does This taste a bit funny to you?”