The Laughter Cemetery

[lemonjelly]

your o is wrong...

 

[Langers]

That one's too good for this thread IMO.

This line is funnier than the 'joke' above it.

 

[Keef]

Managed to get the last valentines table tonight,I'm well pleased,just hope the girlfriend enjoys playing snooker.

 

[Donegal Wolf]

Is blowjob one word? Or is it blow job??

Fuck I hate writing valentine's cards!

 

[Donegal Wolf]

I will never forget the look on the postman's face when he saw me at the front door stark bollock naked.

In fact I don't know what upset him more,


seeing me naked or the fact that I knew where he lived!

 

[darlowolf64]

Teacher: “If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?”

Johnny: “Seven.”

Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”

Johnny: “Seven.”

Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?”

Johnny: “Six.”

Teacher: “Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”

Johnny: “Seven!”

Teacher: “Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!”

Johnny: “Because I’ve already got a cat!”

 

[Aikiwolf]

One for Lamgers:

I've just purchased a set of novelty 'Russian Doll' style Tardis ornaments that fit inside one another.

They're pretty much like a normal Russian Doll set, except in this case the smallest Tardis is on the outside.

 

[darlowolf64]

 

[Quirkafleeg]

One for Lamgers:

I've just purchased a set of novelty 'Russian Doll' style Tardis ornaments that fit inside one another.

They're pretty much like a normal Russian Doll set, except in this case the smallest Tardis is on the outside.

If Bob Monkhouse was still alive he'd come to Northaletton and slap the taste out of your mouth.

 

[Trips]

People at work have asked me to stop singing Wonderwall around the office. I said maybe.

 

[darlowolf64]

I cut pictures out of Kerrang using my rock paper scissors.

 

[Keef]

Archaeologists have just found a new burial chamber from ancient Egyptian times,the body inside was covered in chocolate and chopped almonds.
They believe it's the tomb of pharaoh rocher

 

[MARKakaJIM]

Isn't Ferrero Rocher hazelnut based?

 

[The Bear]

My printer was making a strange noise earlier, and when I got closer it sounded like music.

Turned out to be a paper jam.

 

[Keef]

I've got a new aftershave that smells of breadcrumbs.






The birds love it.

 

[The Bear]

[FONT=&quot]Why do Norwegian warships now have giant barcodes down the side?[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]So when they get back to the harbour they can just Scandinavian.[/FONT]

 

[FrankMunro-371]

Did you hear about the band called 999mb?

I heard they haven't got a gig yet...!!

 

[Tredman]

Did you hear about the band called 999mb?

I heard they haven't got a gig yet...!!

Welcome back Frank.

I see the 'jokes' haven't improved....

 

[The Bear]

Evening David.

 

[Boozad]

I feel sorry for the staff in Greggs at this time of year.

I bet they're baking.