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The Laughter Cemetery

I had one of those Tesco burgers too Frank. It gave me the trots.
 
Despite the recent news, Tesco says that their beef burger sales remain stable.
 
During a recent straw pole Tesco won by a narrow head for most improved horse burgers of the year.
Head stock controller at Tesco said he had a nagging doubt over the quality of the batch of burgers in question.
Police have said it would appear Tesco’s have fallen foal of a prankster .
The mane thing is this batch of burgers have been located.
Tesco chiefs are looking into four faults found in their quality control system.
When questioned as to how this burger fiasco could have happened, a Tesco’s representative told reporters to go take a run and jump.
Tesco’s shares dropped dramatically on the stock market today, after the horse burger news broke. Speculation is mounting that they may need a bale out!
 
Tesco’s have told parents that one of the most obvious signs to look for when checking if their kids ate horse burgers is to see if they are having nightmares.
Tesco’s dismissal of their head of stock control does not mean they are trying to saddle the blame, according to a representative .
Police have dismissed the burger fiasco as merely a bit of horse play.
Tesco’s have asked that customers do not return horse burgers demanding a refund as a refusal my offend.
In a last ditch attempt to get to the bottom of the burger incident, Tesco’s say they have fenced off the meat isle’s in all shops pending investigation.
Politicians are saying the horse burger incident is a National disgrace.

I'm trying to kill all these off in the shortest possible time... Sorry...!
I'm trying to have these put down in the shortest possible time!
 
What bread do you put Tesco burgers in? Thorough bread.
 
I wonder if we'll be hearing these puns furlong?
 
Tesco's have discovered they have competition from my Lidl pony
 
A nun gets into a cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her.

Finally, the cabbie says, "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you."

"My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything."

"Well, I've always had a fantasy about a nun performing oral sex on me."

"Well, first, you have to be single, and then you must also be Catholic."

The cab driver says, "Yes, I am single, and I'm Catholic, too!"

The nun says, "OK, pull into the next alley." He does, and the nun fulfills his fantasy.

When they get back on the road, the cab driver starts weeping.

"My dear child, why are you crying?"

"Forgive me, sister, but I have sinned. I lied. I must confess -- I'm married and I'm Jewish."

"That's OK," says the nun. "My name is Stevie, and I'm on my way to a Halloween party."
 
Never thought Tesco's would be a place to get a good ride.
 
I have just returned from doing my shopping at Tescos. I got some strange looks when I said I was that hungry that I could eat a horse...
 
Following the Tesco horse meat scare,the Irish Co-op now think they've found traces of Zebra in the bar codes
 
Tesco burgers? Or not Tesco burgers? That's the Equestrian...
 
A man's been hospitalised after eating a Tesco burger.
Initially it gave him the trots.
Now he's in a stable condition.
 
After watching the 3.30 from Wolverhampton on At The Races I thought to myself.......quite fancy a burger now!!
 
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