manhattan project
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Tesco beefburgers . Low on fat, but high on shergar
The Laughter Cemetery
- Thread starter Langers
- Start date
FrankMunro-371
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HMV vouchers now being accepted at Tesco.Just tell them HMV means Horse Meat Voucher
Dublin Drummer Wolf
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Frank...... I think its time for the knackers yard
pavlosmacwolf
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If you are offered a tesco burger , just say NNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Wolf Hunting
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Tesco’s latest advertising slogan – TESCOS MEAT BALLS – THEIR THE DOGS BOLLO*X
Police have located the body of chief meat buyer for Tesco’s. Unfortunately he took his own life. When police broke into his apartment they found he was hung like a donkey.
When pressed for an answer as to how the meat scare could have happened Tesco’s chief executive told reporters they were flogging a dead horse.
Police have located the body of chief meat buyer for Tesco’s. Unfortunately he took his own life. When police broke into his apartment they found he was hung like a donkey.
When pressed for an answer as to how the meat scare could have happened Tesco’s chief executive told reporters they were flogging a dead horse.
FrankMunro-371
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Tesco are giving treble points on your Clubcard for all burgers and petrol, starting Monday.The deal is called Only Fuel and Horses.
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:icon_lol:
lemonjelly
Housecoat, la
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just been up in the loft and found an old copy of radio times from 1975, or as it's now known the sex offenders register
lemonjelly
Housecoat, la
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Dear Noel Edmunds,
Gimme a £100k or I will say you gave me a wank on Swap Shop.
Deal or No Deal ?
Gimme a £100k or I will say you gave me a wank on Swap Shop.
Deal or No Deal ?
From Distant Shores
Forever Jesus Sanjuan
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In another joke thread, Pav claimed that the Welsh were fathered by Irish mercenaries. This is patently not true as the history books tell, the Celts were driven westwards by the Romans. This is confirmed by the joke that is probably as old as Frank:
The Welsh are simply Irish who couldn't swim.
The Welsh are simply Irish who couldn't swim.
Bandyrastard
Strongest member of TWF - always propping up the l
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New Scotland manager Gordon Strachan says he is already preparing for the 2014 world cup.
He has bought himself a new TV.
He has bought himself a new TV.
Wolf Hunting
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An elderly couple Pauline & Frank were recently attending a church service at their retirement village.
.
About halfway through the service, Pauline took a pen and paper out of her purse, and wrote a note and handed it to Frank.
The note said:" I just let out a silent fart, what do you think I should do?"
Frank scribbled back: "Put a new battery in your hearing aid."
.
About halfway through the service, Pauline took a pen and paper out of her purse, and wrote a note and handed it to Frank.
The note said:" I just let out a silent fart, what do you think I should do?"
Frank scribbled back: "Put a new battery in your hearing aid."
FrankMunro-371
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After seeing the Swansea ball boy keep possession of the ball for more than 10 seconds, Newcastle United have made a bid of £2 million for him 
Dublin Drummer Wolf
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After seeing the Swansea ball boy keep possession of the ball for more than 10 seconds, Newcastle United have made a bid of £2 million for him
I haven't seen a Welsh kid go down that quick since Lostprophets last toured.....
lemonjelly
Housecoat, la
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BAD boy DDW!
lemonjelly
Housecoat, la
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Whats the difference between a buffalo & a bison ?
Yow can wash ya foice in a bison !
Yow can wash ya foice in a bison !
lemonjelly
Housecoat, la
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Lance Armstrong has lied to us so much, for so long, I'm begining to wonder if he ever landed on the moon at all ?
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Wolf Hunting
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Woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.
Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the bedroom cupboard to watch. Just after getting into bed the woman's husband also comes home unexpectedly, she tells her lover to hide in the cupboard, not realising that the little boy is in there.
After a little while the little boy says, 'Dark in here'.
The man, who obviously got a real fright not expecting to hear anything, let
alone from a little boy says, 'Yes, it is.'
Boy - 'I have a football.'
Man - 'That's nice.'
Boy - 'Want to buy it?'
Man - 'No, thanks.'
Boy - 'My dad's outside.'
Man - 'OK, how much?'
Boy - '£250'
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the cupboard together.
Boy - 'Dark in here.'
Man - 'Yes, it is'
Boy - 'I have football boots.'
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, 'OK How much this time
?'
Boy - '£750'
Man - 'Sold.'
A few days later, the boys' father says to the boy, 'Grab your boots and football, let's go outside and have a game of soccer'.
The boy says, 'I can't, I sold my ball and boots.'
The father asks, 'How much did you sell them for and to who?'
The boy says, 'To a friend of mine for a £1,000 ..'
The father says, 'That's a terrible thing to do, overcharging your friend like that'. 'That's four times what they cost when they were new, I'm going to take you to church and make you confess your terrible sins.'
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, 'Dark in here'..
The priest says, 'Don't start that shit again you little sod, you're in my cupboard now' !!
Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the bedroom cupboard to watch. Just after getting into bed the woman's husband also comes home unexpectedly, she tells her lover to hide in the cupboard, not realising that the little boy is in there.
After a little while the little boy says, 'Dark in here'.
The man, who obviously got a real fright not expecting to hear anything, let
alone from a little boy says, 'Yes, it is.'
Boy - 'I have a football.'
Man - 'That's nice.'
Boy - 'Want to buy it?'
Man - 'No, thanks.'
Boy - 'My dad's outside.'
Man - 'OK, how much?'
Boy - '£250'
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the cupboard together.
Boy - 'Dark in here.'
Man - 'Yes, it is'
Boy - 'I have football boots.'
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, 'OK How much this time
?'
Boy - '£750'
Man - 'Sold.'
A few days later, the boys' father says to the boy, 'Grab your boots and football, let's go outside and have a game of soccer'.
The boy says, 'I can't, I sold my ball and boots.'
The father asks, 'How much did you sell them for and to who?'
The boy says, 'To a friend of mine for a £1,000 ..'
The father says, 'That's a terrible thing to do, overcharging your friend like that'. 'That's four times what they cost when they were new, I'm going to take you to church and make you confess your terrible sins.'
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, 'Dark in here'..
The priest says, 'Don't start that shit again you little sod, you're in my cupboard now' !!
Wolf Hunting
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Proud Fathers
Four guys are sitting in a bar. One leaves to go to the bathroom. There are three guys left. The guys start talking about their sons.
First guy says "I thought my son was going to be a dissapointment. He started out sweeping floors for Supercuts.
But then he graduated from Stanford and became the owner of a car dealership and gives his best friend a free car for his birthday."
Second guy says, "Yeah, I thought my son would be a disappointment, too. It was almost the same exact thing that happened to my son to yours except he swept floors for a Stock broking company. But soon, he became the owner of that company and got his friend 100,000 dollars in stock money for his birthday."
Third guy says "Wow, that was the same thing that happened to my son except he swept floors for a real estate agent. But soon he became the owner of this place and gave his best friend a house for his birthday."
The fourth guy comes back from the bathroom. The guys explain to the other guy what they were talking about and asks him if he could tell about his son.
He agrees. "Well, my son is a real disappointment to me. He works as a hair dresser and has for fifteen years. He is also gay and has several boyfriends. Well, I look on the bright side, from his boyfriends he's got a new house, a new car and 100,000 dollars in stock money."
Four guys are sitting in a bar. One leaves to go to the bathroom. There are three guys left. The guys start talking about their sons.
First guy says "I thought my son was going to be a dissapointment. He started out sweeping floors for Supercuts.
But then he graduated from Stanford and became the owner of a car dealership and gives his best friend a free car for his birthday."
Second guy says, "Yeah, I thought my son would be a disappointment, too. It was almost the same exact thing that happened to my son to yours except he swept floors for a Stock broking company. But soon, he became the owner of that company and got his friend 100,000 dollars in stock money for his birthday."
Third guy says "Wow, that was the same thing that happened to my son except he swept floors for a real estate agent. But soon he became the owner of this place and gave his best friend a house for his birthday."
The fourth guy comes back from the bathroom. The guys explain to the other guy what they were talking about and asks him if he could tell about his son.
He agrees. "Well, my son is a real disappointment to me. He works as a hair dresser and has for fifteen years. He is also gay and has several boyfriends. Well, I look on the bright side, from his boyfriends he's got a new house, a new car and 100,000 dollars in stock money."
