The Laughter Cemetery

[Hereford Wolf]

I know someone who is addicted to drinking brake fluid.
I’m not worried though. He says he can stop anytime.

 

[The Bear]

A Yorkshireman walks into the vet's and says, "I've come about me cat"

The vet says, "Is it a tom?"

The man says "No, I've brought it wi' me"

 

[The Bear]

My wife came home from work crying yesterday and asked me to console her.

So I hit her over the head with my Xbox.

 

[The Bear]

How does Moses make his tea?

Hebrews it.

 

[The Bear]

Just seen a French footballer playing on a Nintendo.

It was Thierry on Wii.

 

[The Bear]

Jimmy Saville, Rolf Harris & Stuart Hall walk into a pub in Ireland.

Barman says “not yew tree again”.

 

[The Bear]

Burnt my Hawaiian pizza today.

Should have put it on aloha setting.

 

[The Bear]

I met a girl with 12 nipples today.

Sounds fun.

Dozen tit.

 

[The Bear]

Why can’t dyslexics tell jokes?

They always punch up the fuckline.

 

[Keef]

I see you've opened the Christmas crackers early then

 

[Johnny75]

I see you've opened the Christmas crackers early then

The Love thy Neighbour edition by the looks of things.

 

[Deleted Cyber]

Why can’t dyslexics tell jokes?

They always punch up the fuckline.

I met a girl with 12 nipples today.

Sounds fun.

Dozen tit.

Burnt my Hawaiian pizza today.

Should have put it on aloha setting.

Jimmy Saville, Rolf Harris & Stuart Hall walk into a pub in Ireland.

Barman says “not yew tree again”.

Just seen a French footballer playing on a Nintendo.

It was Thierry on Wii.

How does Moses make his tea?

Hebrews it.

My wife came home from work crying yesterday and asked me to console her.

So I hit her over the head with my Xbox.

A Yorkshireman walks into the vet's and says, "I've come about me cat"

The vet says, "Is it a tom?"

The man says "No, I've brought it wi' me"

The Love thy Neighbour edition by the looks of things.

They made me chuckle to be fair! Merry Christmas especially to my nemesis Johnny75. May our bickering be merry and bright!

 

[The Bear]

I’ve developed a fetish for figuring things out. I just came to that realisation.

 

[Pablowolf]

That took be a moment or two!

 

[The Bear]

My computer was idle for 10 minutes, then suddenly a picture of Jesus popped up.

It’s my new screen saviour.

 

[The Bear]

As we landed in Saudi Arabia the pilot announced "Ladies and Gentlemen don't forget to adjust your watches to local time"

I thought to myself, how do I turn it back to the 7th century?

 

[Jolemai]

I got a date last night after I gave a woman a bottle of tonic water.

You could say I schwepped her off her feet.

 

[The Bear]

The Wife said "Come into the bedroom and I'll put on that black lace number on... "

I said "No thanks, I can't stand Agadoo."

 

[PPB]

The Wife said "Come into the bedroom and I'll put on that black lace number on... "

I said "No thanks, I can't stand Agadoo."

:icon_lol:

 

[PPB]

Tomorrow is ' Jamaican Hairstyle Day '

I'm dreading it.