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The Laughter Cemetery

The two British cooks at the Vatican have apparently upset the new pope. Tina Smith and Marge Brown had asked him if he wanted a cooked breakfast or a "full English" as it is known.Unimpressed by the British stance in the Falklands he shouted. Don't fry for me Marge and Tina .
 
Awful. Makes me want to throw my iPhone at the wall to be honest. I don't mind bad jokes but that is so poorly put together and contrived it's painful to read.
 
An oldie, but worthy of Frank's thread...

Last month Prince Charles and Camilla visited Wonlgepong on a trip to Australia and all the civic dignitaries were lined up at the station ready for the Royal train to arrive, As the train wheezed and huffed to a standstill the door to the Royal carriage opened and out stepped HRH sporting a genuine fox fur hat, with the poor creature's tail hanging forlornly down his back.

The Mayor of Wonglepong and the Head Councillor stepped forward and the Councillor whispered in Charlie's ear, "My God, your Highness, it's one of the hottest days of the year, and - I mean, I know your views about hunting - but it's hardly politically correct, wearing a fox fur hat, now is it?"

"What???" exclaimed Charles, "oh, this old thing," he indicated his hat, "Mummy's idea!"

"Mummy's idea?" said the Lord Lieutenant incredulously, "you mean Her Majesty the Queen's idea???"

"Oh yes," replied Charles, "you see, at breakfast before I left she asked me what I was doing today, and I told her that I was coming to Wonglepong and she said 'Wonglepong? Wear the fox hat?'
 
Very worthy indeed.

A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and proceeds to fire it at the other patrons. "Why?" asks the confused, surviving waiter amidst the carnage. The panda pauses on his way out, produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual, and tosses it over his shoulder. "Well, I'm a panda," he says at the door. "Look it up." The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation: "Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves."
 
Very worthy indeed.

A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and proceeds to fire it at the other patrons. "Why?" asks the confused, surviving waiter amidst the carnage. The panda pauses on his way out, produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual, and tosses it over his shoulder. "Well, I'm a panda," he says at the door. "Look it up." The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation: "Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves."
 
A father and baby polar bear were walking across the ice when the baby polar bear said to his dad
"Dad, am I part panda bear?"
"No", replied his dad. "Well then, am I part brown bear?" Again his dad said no.

A short time later the baby bear asked again,
"Dad, maybe I'm part koala bear?"
The father getting annoyed said, "look son, I'm a polar bear, your mums a polar bear.
Why on earth do you keep asking for?!"

"Because," the baby bear said, "I'm Freezing!".
 
What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before getting married?

Feyonce.
 
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Today's Penguin joke:

Q: Why are Penguins so good on the internet?
A: Because they have webbed feet.
 
Breaking News: A mass fight has broken out in a petrol station.

23 People arrested in Total.
 
Today's Penguin joke:

Q: What was the name of the Emperor Penguin?
A: Julius Freezer
 
Another Penguin joke:

Q: What is a Penguin's favourite footwear?
A: Flipper-Floppers
 
Q:What do you call a Penguin in the desert ?
A: Lost


We likes Penguin jokes :)
 
Penguin goes into a bar and asks the barman ' hey have you seen my brother ? '
The barman says ' I don't know , what's he look like ? '
 
Today's Penguin joke:

Q: Why do Penguins have a thick layer of feathers?
A: Because it's snow-cold!

Frank, are you sure you're not employed by United Biscuits LTD?
 
Sandwell mother is to name her newly arrived twins after the Albion first team.

Both mother and Uselesstw.t and Pileofsh.t are doing well.
 
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