The Laughter Cemetery

[Jolemai]

Jesus' dad told him that one when he was a lad.

 

[Jabbawolf]

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. It sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

A new low has been reached.

 

[FrankMunro-371]

A new low has been reached.

Thank you.

There was a person who sent 10 different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least 1 of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

 

[Wolf Hunting]

A new low has been reached.

Don't be silly Jabba, there's way further to go yet.
It's fucking bottomless!

 

[Jabbawolf]

Don't be silly Jabba, there's way further to go yet.
It's fucking bottomless!

I fear you are probably correct WH.

 

[FrankMunro-371]

I fear you are probably correct WH.

There is nothing to fear Jabba.

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

 

[PPB]

There is nothing to fear Jabba.

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

:icon_lol:

 

[lemonjelly]

Someone find the proper joke thread. Let the people decide!

 

[FrankMunro-371]

Someone find the proper joke thread. Let the people decide!

This should swing it my way:

Patient: “I can’t stop singing ‘The Green, Green Grass of Home.’”
Doctor: “That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.”
Patient: “Is it common?”
Doctor: “It’s Not Unusual.”

 

[Langers]

Found my dead cat in the washing machine this morning. Upsetting as it is, at least I know she died in comfort.

 

[FrankMunro-371]

Found my dead cat in the washing machine this morning. Upsetting as it is, at least I know she died in comfort.

Brilliant Langers.....that's the standard we like in here.

 

[FrankMunro-371]

So a judge has ruled Oscar Pistorius to be a flight risk... Those must be some amazing prosthetics.

 

[Paul]

So a judge has ruled Oscar Pistorius to be a flight risk... Those must be some amazing prosthetics.

You cant really make jokes about the sad tale of a sawn off man with a shotgun

 

[Penk Wolf]

Politicians and nappies should be changed regularly and for the same reason.

 

[Jolemai]

Singer Neil Diamond started his career as Neil Coal, he changed his name when the pressure got to him.

 

[FrankMunro-371]

So Ikea have found horse in their meatballs. I would've been more shocked if they said they had wood in their furniture.

 

[Penk Wolf]

 

[Langers]

What's got 2 legs and kills women?

The Pistorius brothers.

 

[Wolf Hunting]

A Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things.
During a check-up, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember ..
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
'Sure.'
'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.
'No, I can remember it.'
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?'
He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down, she says.'
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.
'Where's my toast?'

 

[Jolemai]

According to the BBC News, the Vatican will soon be choosing a new Pope to "lead the 1.2 billion Catholics around the world."

That's one hell of a conga.