The things that I really, really like thread...

[The Bear]

That's quite a bleak viewpoint though. If I didn't ever spend money on frivolities then I'd never leave the house.

The cost of marriage is hardly a frivolity though is it. Like Mark said, put it towards your house together or spend it on the two of you.

 

[PPB]

You are entitled to your opinion, but personally I think marriage is great. Yes we have had disagreements from time to time, and yes early on finances were extremely tight, but not for one minute do I regret getting married.

Married couples that say ' oh we never ever fall out, disagree, or argue' then they are either telling big fat bloody lies or living a life of yes love no love. You cant live with someone 24/7 and always get on every single minute. I regret my first marriage, obviously. My second marriage has taught me much, and made me appreciate certain things more. Do I think you can be as commited to a person without a wedding ring on your finger, yes, absolutely you can.

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

The cost of marriage is hardly a frivolity though is it. Like Mark said, put it towards your house together or spend it on the two of you.

It's up to you how much you spend on it, there isn't a fixed cost.

I think having all your friends and family in one place to celebrate your commitment is a rather nice thing. Plus quite a large minority of the public are religious, for them it is nothing to do with a social construct.

Not everything has to be überpragmatic, it would be quite dull if life were like that. Imagine a world where everyone thought like the people on the MSE forums, I'd rather live on the Sun.

 

[Langers]

It's up to you how much you spend on it, there isn't a fixed cost.

I think having all your friends and family in one place to celebrate your commitment is a rather nice thing. Plus quite a large minority of the public are religious, for them it is nothing to do with a social construct.

Not everything has to be überpragmatic, it would be quite dull if life were like that. Imagine a world where everyone thought like the people on the MSE forums, I'd rather live on the Sun.

Agreed. To add to this, I can't think of another occasion where you get all your family and friends all in one place at the same time. You might say a birthday party or something but a wedding is always going to bring more people together. Not a reason to get married on it's own obviously, but I don't think I'll ever see so many of the people in my life together again in the same place.

I don't regret getting married at all despite how it ended - it was an amazing day, it's just a shame that only one of us actually stuck by our vows but hey ho - such is life.

 

[The Bear]

Of course Marriage is a social construct. We're the only species that do it. Some animals spend their lives together as pairings but marriage is a human idea. It's built into your psyche by the environment around you as you grow up. Little girls dream of their big wedding day for example, because it's shown on TV and in films as being the most romantic day of their lives and something that people just do when they're together.

It's not really a successful idea either given the divorce rates around the world. You can understand it from a pragmatic point of view in historical times as it was used as a bargaining tool to join families together for political reasons. But nowadays it's just a cultural thing that people feel they need to do because it exists in society and people are brought up to think that's what commitment entails.

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

What about religious people?

 

[The Bear]

If you want a big day with all your families to outline your commitment to one another then just arrange it. Do it as a house-warming get together when you move in with each other and tell everyone then. You don't have to have a wedding to do that.

 

[The Bear]

What about religious people?

What about them? If they're religious that's their problem.

 

[PPB]

I never did. Never ever did I want the whole meringue dress,horse drawn carriage, church, romantic thing. Thats just not me. Just get wed, have a piss up, job done.

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

What about them? If they're religious that's their problem.

Well for them it's nothing to do with a social construct, is it?

My house isn't big enough to invite 200+ people round so I don't think I could go down the home wedding non-wedding road. Is this party free as well? I'll pop to the non-denominational anti-marriage shop and pick up all my supplies for free?

A marriage license is £46. Any costs above that are up to the couple, it is nothing to do with marriage being expensive.

 

[The Bear]

Now you're just being obtuse. A party with close family and friends costs whatever it costs to have a party at any other time. It certainly wouldn't get into the thousands though for some drinks and a bit of food.

Oh and religion is just another social construct essentially. It's what they have been taught to believe by their family and upbringing. If they want to get married for religious reasons then it's a different side of the same coin as far as I'm concerned. And makes just as much sense.

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

I don't think you can throw out the 'being obtuse' thing when one of your arguments was it is odd that humans get married and dogs don't.

 

[The Bear]

It's not an argument it's an observation. Humans are highly complex social animals. Marriage is just one of those social complexities.

 

[Langers]

I don't think you can throw out the 'being obtuse' thing when one of your arguments was it is odd that humans get married and dogs don't.

They do though. http://www.mirror.co.uk/tv/tv-news/woman-who-married-dog-tells-3229270

200 guests as well.

 

[The Bear]

Poor dog. I wonder if it would get half her stuff if they get divorced?

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

They do though. http://www.mirror.co.uk/tv/tv-news/woman-who-married-dog-tells-3229270

200 guests as well.

Would have been more but I doubt the dog had the ability to write and send invites.

Anyway we're still at the same point, given that most people don't worry about spending money on things they like then providing they can afford it, what's the problem? There's no logic in a lot of things. Why spend money on cinema tickets, vastly overpriced and you can watch it in the comfort of your own home mere weeks later. Buying popcorn as well at £5 a pop, when no-one really likes popcorn. Why buy a car with a top speed of 140mph when the speed limit is half that?

If I ever did get in a long term relationship again, which as I say is not on the cards any time soon, and the subject of marriage were broached, I don't think I'd suggest we just have a few people round for a bit of pork pie instead to save a few quid. Because life really is too short.

 

[Langers]

I don't think anyone would want any of her stuff.

 

[MARKakaJIM]

Got to hand it to you Mark - you put a real effort into making no effort and being generally miserable about nothing. It's a talent.

It's not nothing though is it, on their own they may be minor inconveniences but you stick 5-6 of them together on the same day and that's a shitty day right there.

Imagine someone sent out an invitation for a day out that you were obliged to accept due to relationship, you'll spend all day in the cold, you'll only be allowed to drink Carling, you'll have to watch cricket, there will be a heavy feline presence and the whole thing is played out to a Kasabian soundtrack. Fun day for you?

 

[Langers]

Yeah, because that's likely to happen, isn't it? :icon_lol:

Anyway, without the exaggeration - yes occasionally I would sacrifice a few things and suffer some things I don't enjoy in order to make an effort for someone else. Especially if it happened to be their special day that they had invited me to. (I have been known to dance to Abba whilst drinking Carling at a wedding before). A bit of respect doesn't hurt.

 

[MARKakaJIM]

It doesn't matter how likely it is to actually happen, I happen to dislike a lot of things that are pretty commonplace at Weddings so they stack up to create the same result as what would be a fairly unlikely series of events for someone else, doesn't make it any less annoying for me though does it? If anything it's even more annoying because it's far more likely to happen repeatedly, which it does.

Surely the happy couple have got far more important things on their mind throughout their special day than if one particular guest is enjoying ever minute detail of their wedding anyway? As you it's likely the biggest gathering of friends/family that they're ever likely to have been part of, with everything planned to suit their wants and needs so they can have the best day imaginable, they'd have to be a pretty pessimistic bridge or groom to have my lack of enjoyment taint the overall experience of their 'special day'. They probably wouldn't even notice if I hadn't bothered to attend.