The Laughter Cemetery

[leedswolf]

Breaking News: A mass fight has broken out in a petrol station.

23 People arrested in Total.

 

[BillyDee]

I've written a book on how to fall down the stairs.
It's a step by step guide...

 

[Keef]

My girlfriend bet me I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti,
Took me a while but you should have seen her face as I drove pasta

 

[Jolemai]

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes.

She gave me a hug.

 

[Derby Wolf]

How does a non binary Samurai defeat enemies?

They/Them

 

[BillyDee]

Before covid, I used to tell all sorts of jokes in the office, and they always seemed to go down really well. People would always ask me what my latest jokes were, I was an office comedy god.
Then covid hit, and we all had to work from home. I'd still tell my jokes over zoom calls and emails, but they didn't hit right, they all just fell flat.
It turns out I'm not remotely funny...

 

[darlowolf64]

I once dated a girl who was a twin. People often asked me how I could tell them apart but it was really easy...

Jill painted her nails purple and Jack had a beard.

 

[lemonjelly]

Man goes to the doctor and says 'I think I've got a problem with my hearing'

Doctor says 'what are the symptoms'

Man: a yellow cartoon family on the TV, why?

 

[Paul]

 

[BillyDee]

Classic

 

[BillyDee]

One of my earliest memories is making sandcastles with me grandad.
Then me mam took away the urn...

 

[lemonjelly]

I played some quiet tennis yesterday, it's the same rules but without the racket

 

[Hereford Wolf]

Just put a new electric fence around my garden. The neighbours are dead against it.

 

[BillyDee]

I've just invented a telepathic air freshener. Makes scents when you think about it...

 

[Jolemai]

Doctor: I'm sorry, but we had to remove your colon.

Me Why?

 

[Hereford Wolf]

Doctor..... I can only sleep if a lie on a pile of old magazines.

Doctor: Sounds like you have back issues.

 

[Jolemai]

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it becomes apparent.

 

[lemonjelly]

Next Monday we start Diarrhoea Awareness Week.

Runs until Friday...

 

[BillyDee]

I can't believe the stationary shop has moved...

 

[Wolf Hunting]

Due to the fuel crisis, Chris Rea has started walking home for Christmas already.