The All New Alan Partridge Thread

[Nando]

You can stop giggling, or I'll take down your particulars.


(Yes, I am putting these on as I watch)

 

[Langers]

You can stop giggling, or I'll take down your particulars.


(Yes, I am putting these on as I watch)

You posted that on the wrong thread didn't you?! :icon_lol:

 

[Nando]

No.....:icon_rolleyes:

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

No, I walked out after five minutes, it was demeaning. Had to hail a cab. I was dressed as an exclamation mark. Which helped, actually.

 

[Langers]

Lynn - you're laughing at weather.

 

[Paul]

"Big Yellow Taxi there by Joni Mitchell, a song in which she complains that they 'paved paradise to put up a parking lot' - a measure which actually would have alleviated traffic congestion on the outskirts of paradise. Something which Joni singularly fails to point out, perhaps because it doesn't quite fit in with her blinkered view of the world. Nevertheless, nice song."

 

[MARKakaJIM]

The other day me i met up with a mate who was out with some people from his work, they were playing this drinking game where you take a shot if you've done whatever random thing someone cares to mention. There was a kid there who'd done literally nothing so after a while people just started asking him if he'd done this or that, really mundane stuff like getting drunk, he hadn't. So someone came out with what have you actually done? My mate quick as a flash responded with, 'I heard he hit a prostitute'. No-one else in the group had a clue what we were on about but it rendered me and my friend completely useless for a good 15 minutes.

 

[Templeton Peck]

Sir Dansworth of Moodyshire as I live and breathe!

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

Can you come with the kitchen brochures...so that's Smeg, Neff, Poggen Pohl and BOSCH.

 

[Langers]

Try and RELAX. Remember the breathing excercises from tape 1.

 

[Templeton Peck]

"Gonna go read Simon Heffer. On the verandah. Ain't no one gonna stop me."

 

[Langers]

Flatley, my dear, I don't Riverdance.

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

And it's over to Dave Clifton, prrrropping up the bar in his fictional nightclub.

 

[Langers]

Dwad, dosser, dalendless shid and - if rumours are to be believed - you're back on the boddle.

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

"Better than sitting in a fictional bath, Alan"
"Well it's better than having fictional listeners Dave, or sitting on your own in an actual nightclub, which I've seen you do."

 

[Haggstone]

Lynn, what the frig have you got on your feet?

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

Idea for a programme entitled "Yachting Mishaps". Some funny, some tragic. Presented by that man who was trapped upside down in his hull eating chocolate.

 

[Templeton Peck]

Please don't call in saying thats racist - its not.

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

Had a fascinating chat tonight with a man from Spicksworth, he was convinced that in a previous life he'd been Arthur Askey...I pointed out that his and Askey's life had overlapped...And he backed down.

 

[Langers]

Oooooooooooooh - that's the sexiest EVER a-ha.