The Mental Health thread

[The Bear]

Struggled for a while, and getting worse. Not much out there in the world for me especially after 60

Some would say you're living the dream to some extent. Nice warm and cosy Mediterranean way of life in Spain, and a small bar to keep you busy and stay in touch with ex pats and English speaking tourists.

Beats living in Britain that's for sure.

 

[EpsomWolf]

Was feeling a bit low and perhaps a bit insecure the last few days and happened to walk passed a homeless guy yesterday who said a cheery hello and had a sign that said ‘Homeless but chatty’

I acknowledged him and walked by but turned around and went back to sit on the steps in the sun beside him and had quite a long chat. His story was probably very typical of many and did make me think of how you’d cope (or not as my mind was telling me) in his situation. Essentially 5 years ago he lost his wife of 34 years (they were together from the age of 14), she had aneurysm and died more or less instantly and he didn’t get to say goodbye. The poor guy was, and still is, broken hearted.

From there it was drinking to block things out to cope, missing work, losing job. With no income the path of burning through savings, losing house and eventual homeless was a well-trodden one.

After a new low of being arrested for being D&D whereby the judge treated him like piece of dirt, he vowed to get clean and has been on a treatment programme and dry for 21 months. The council offered him a room in a house with 5 alcoholics which he turned down because of the inevitable outcome of that and because he turned the offer down goes to the back of the queue and so chooses to live in a tent on Epsom racecourse to protect himself instead.

It was at least heartwarming to see several offers of food just in the time I was chatting, and apparently someone treats him to a Travelodge room every Sunday where he cleans himself up and washes his clothes in the bath.

Not sure really what the catalyst for all that was, but there are definitely elements of guilt for my lack of awareness and for not really making any effort with anyone in that situation until a moment of vulnerability forced the conversation and made me curious with a rude awakening as to how quickly that can happen to anyone irrespective of your circumstances, solvent or otherwise.

 

[Del Woppio]

So this had been on my radar for quite a while (clicked on a facebook ad months ago, so algo went coco), but then the guardian wrote a piece after a recent university study so I took the plunge. I'm only just over a week in so doubtless some placebo effect in there but can honestly say I feel like a new man. I feel sharper, the act of getting out of bed isn't literally terrifying, the overactive thoughts (and indeed the darkness) all have seen massive improvements, it's mental. I've probably done more actual work this week than I do in a normal month. My response to triggers or trauma or bad stuff has been so much better. Obviously I need to take stock again in weeks and months time, so I'll continue to update here, but early impressions are incredible tbh

People with depression could administer brain stimulation at home, trial shows

Findings from phase two trial suggest patients could receive treatment without having to attend a clinic

www.theguardian.com

 

[lemonjelly]

This is a partial vent, partial release as I am a mess at the moment. Thankfully I have some really good colleagues around me.

at work this am I was talking with a colleague. over his shoulder, i could see someone considering taking their own life. I don't want to go into too many details on how etc and hope people understand why that is private.

I was quite a distance away (we weren't in the same building or anything). However, I was able to get others to the scene, as I could tell the person was deliberating. I was scared they had an active plan though.

I had to walk away from the window I was at. However I did see my colleagues arrive.

I am absolutely overjoyed, several hours later to get the news that they were reached in time. People were with them, and the person wanted to talk to someone abut their mental health. Emergency services were called.

I am not religious, but Thank god I was looking in the direction I was. Thank god colleagues got there in time. Thank god they are ok and want to talk with others.

I am currently a wreck, as the adrenaline keeps pulsing then declining.

Whether you are a friend I have met, or a friend I am yet to meet, if you ever feel low, there is always someone who will talk with you, listen, and share their humanity with you.

 

[b3h]

One of my mates took his own life just over a month ago. It's fucking rough thinking what must go through someone's mind in the lead up to it.

I think we need to keep an eye on people we know but also speak out yourself if you are feeling so depressed.

 

[Elephant Pyjamas]

The thing is, people who are depressed are so low in their self esteem that they feel like a burden and don't want to talk about it as they worry they are not worthy, o they isolate themselves more and more and it gets worse, it's a vicious circle.

It's really important to try and recognise the signs if at all possible, often it's sudden (or even gradual) changes in behaviour. Sociable people suddenly not being so, or them making lots of excuses or not turning up to things they said they would or do usually.

It's tough to spot, but it's much better to ask the question and be wrong, than assume someone is OK and find out they felt they had no choice in the end.

 

[b3h]

making lots of excuses or not turning up to things they said they would or do usually.

Yeah, this is what hurts and made us think we could/should have done more for him. He had a partner the last couple of years and I guess we just thought he was spending more time with her.

My first thought when I heard was that they had split up. But nope, she nipped out and came back to him having done it. Rough, man.

 

[Elephant Pyjamas]

Awful, and you were being perfectly human in not wanting to be intrusive.

Often, there's very little anyone can do, especially if even those closest don't have a clue.

 

[lemonjelly]

One of my mates took his own life just over a month ago. It's fucking rough thinking what must go through someone's mind in the lead up to it.

I think we need to keep an eye on people we know but also speak out yourself if you are feeling so depressed.

Really sorry to hear this mate & hope you're looking after yourself.
A childhood friend of mine died 6 weeks ago. Younger than me. It appears he'd developed a reliance on drink following a relationship breakdown years ago. Yet I never saw him with a drink, and he always seemed OK.
He died from liver complications, & I can't stop wondering how much pain he was in, & for how long.

 

[Alan]

From experience, a simple “are you okay?” can have an inordinately positive impact. Maybe not a permanent one; the slog never really ends with that level of depression. But knowing someone, sometimes anyone, can see underneath the masking and will go out of their way, however slightly, to proactively offer a shoulder… I can’t say enough how just that little thing can make putting the proverbial knife away so much easier.

There’s a lot of power in simple things when you’re that close to the edge. Or, there is/has been for me, at least.

 

[AndyWolves]

Some times a simple chat can be enough. Thankfully i've never been in that situation, but i know when i'm feeling anxious / upset / overwhelmed just a conversation about random bollocks can lift my mood.

There are people who have no idea how much they've lifted my outlook by simply having a chat with me.

 

[The Bear]

Not on the same level but I recently had a long chat with a young lad in my pool league who has just been diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis (a chronic inflammatory bowel disease) which I've had for 23 years now.

He'd said he'd been getting a bit down about it, and without saying it he sounded relieved that someone else understood what he was going through in terms of his health and how it was impacting his life. It's one of those silent disabilities that people don't understand the effects of or even realise people are suffering with.

Like I said, not the same as what some people have to deal with but it felt nice to reassure and help someone not look so badly on their future prognosis.