The Mental Health thread

[AndyWolves]

I was in a pretty dark place a few months ago, I was convinced I'd fucked something big up but I was the only person thinking that. Nothing since has come up, I'm not completely comfortable but I'm a lot better than I was.

I reached out to a few services but never took it any further and got thinking. Was that episode caused by me majorly stressing about a specific thing and that one thing was the cause and now that it's gone am I gonna be ok?

I know I've got a pre disposition to assume the worst and unless I'm comfortable with every detail I'm convinced things will go wrong, which is completely at odds with how I appear from the outside - I come across as fairly laid back, easy going and sometimes like I'm not arsed with things.

I know I'm an anxious person but I don't know if that's just who I am or if I suffer from anxiety.

Bizarrely, when I smoked weed I was fine. Before I used to stress about the little things and now I find myself doing the same

 

[Trips]

Things were starting to feel a bit better on Monday, but have had a terrible week so far. The worst I've been in a few years.

Rang to see the doctor on Wednesday but they said they couldn't get me in until a week on Monday. Spent around an hour on the phone to the Samaritans during the early hours of Thursday as things were very bleak. Rang doctors again on Thursday morning demanding an appointment before the weekend and they managed to get me an appointment at another surgery today. Have had my dosage of mirtazapine increased now so have to see how I get on with it. Not sure what has happened to bring it on, whether anything has triggered it, but has been awful this week.

 

[darlowolf64]

Stick on in there Trips

 

[SLA]

https://www.theguardian.com/science...ork-antidepressants-are-effective-study-shows

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

Things are generally going a bit better (I must be more comfortable with Wolves being a bit up and down, preconditioning and all that). Friday wasn't very good. First real wobble since I started the upturn a month or so ago. Got through it though.

Both excited and terrified about going to Hamburg next week. Big test. It should be the easiest thing in the world, go to the city you love more than anywhere else, your second home, with a couple of good mates, show them the place (I left nearly 16 years ago and I still know it better than Wolverhampton), go and watch some crap football at some point, see a couple of old friends, have some drinks, enjoy. Doesn't work like that though.

I'm sure it'll be great, but like I said to Kenny before the Norwich game, if what I had was anything to do with logic and reason, I wouldn't have a problem.

 

[lemonjelly]

I meant to say at/after the norwich game, that you looked well. There was an element of contentedness about yourself.
Hope it is the beginning of a purple patch for you.
I'm sure that Hamburg will be a positive for you.

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

There are a ton of potential negatives as well. Guess which bit I'm concentrating on...

It'll be ok.

I try not to bring my personal shit into matchdays, no-one needs me bringing anyone else down. I suppose you can't help giving off signals though. Anything is better than mid-Dec-mid Jan, but yeah, I've been doing ok, in relative terms at least.

 

[lemonjelly]

When asked "how are you?" by people, I often say "I don't know", because I think 2 things:
1) the people are finding a different way of saying "hello"
2) I'm not always sure how I am. I can feel fine, but a friend will say "you're not yourself"

Of course, some may genuinely be interested in my wellbeing. The cynic in me isn't always sure, but I can give people the benefit of the doubt. I know I can be terrible at fooling myself, or lying to myself about stuff.
Appearances can be deceiving, but equally can say a lot. When we spoke last wednesday you appeared comfortable, contended, dare I say almost happy with things (despite the result). Physically you looked to be taking care of yourself too. Sometimes we don't notice the slow steady improvements we make that are evolutionary, until some time after the fact.

I hope you enjoy Hamburg. There will be good bits, and possibly not so good bits. But it is good you're doing it.

 

[Trips]

Good to hear things are improving mate! Hamberg could be great for you. Whilst I was away last week it was the best I'd felt in months, had a really good week and felt massively better.

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

I haven't been abroad since 2008. In fact my passport expires the day we come back :icon_lol:

The worry really is what if something goes wrong over there. Now, it's irrational. Because I've got two good blokes (they are, honest) with me and aside from anything else, I can't feel disorientated at any point, I know the place like the back of my hand. But like I say, reason doesn't come into it.

I knew you were coming to the Norwich game LJ, I like to look my best

 

[Kenny]

Because I've got two good blokes (they are, honest)

Jase and who else is going with you?

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

Jase and who else is going with you?

Some clownshoe with a broken shoulder

 

[Keef]

You're worrying it's you that's going to be going down the hill in a bathtub,or put in a hang glider towed behind a bicycle ,while the other 2 say it'll be fine,what could possibly go wrong? Or while one is chasing some German tart with wrinkled stockings

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

I'll have you know that I am COMFORTABLY the youngest. Mid 30s, me.

 

[Stan Hullis]

Had to go to the Drs for the first time today to discuss my own MH issues.

Have hit a real low the last few weeks and my home life + work are really starting to suffer.

Have been referred to counselling for now as the GP didn’t want to put me on any meds right away.

Hopefully will see a positive change and beginning by trying to improve things myself.

 

[Keef]

You'll definitely be in the bath or the hang glider then,the other two won't be able to bend to do the straps,or lift their leg over the edge of the bath
Seriously you'll be fine,it'll do you good no doubt,getting the brain going with remembering German change of scenery and all that

 

[Jabbawolf]

Had to go to the Drs for the first time today to discuss my own MH issues.

Have hit a real low the last few weeks and my home life + work are really starting to suffer.

Have been referred to counselling for now as the GP didn’t want to put me on any meds right away.

Hopefully will see a positive change and beginning by trying to improve things myself.

Sorry to hear this - your last few words are key - the answer is inside you.

Haven’t been great myself recently either, but started to do a Gratitude journal every day - take a few minutes every day to write down 5 things that day that I am grateful for - really go to town on the reasoning. You can only ever use each thing once ever - supposedly, after 21 days or so, this gratitude starts to become a habit, and should help raise your mood.

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

Spent the evening putting a few things in order as I felt a bit scrambled (and there was no football on, so a free night).

When I analysed where I was five years ago to where I am now, in every respect, I ended up with a win, and then I had a load of other potential upticks later on if things work out. So I can't have done too badly.

I don't always believe in myself and I don't think by any means that I'm fixed (I'm not, at all) but it's good to step back and realise sometimes that you're not the worst person to ever walk the earth and the world wouldn't be better off if you just chucked yourself off the bridge at the station. I must be doing something right if that many people say I'm doing alright.

 

[lemonjelly]

That can be quite key in the work I'll do with my "clients". It can be very easy to forget/not give oneself credit for any progress made. We often make comparisons to yesterday, or worse, feel "it has always been like this" resulting in thinking "it will always be like this". Had a great moment with a client not long ago who 3.5 years ago was engaged in nothing, and on the verge of dropping out. When we compared things like attendance, and notes in their diary, and off social media from then to now, they began seeing that progress was being made. Not necessarily as much as wanted (or as quickly, but that is another challenge - managing expectations).

DW, your 2nd para resonates with me a lot. I don't think I have a lot going for me - I'm not particularly confident, I'm not as clever as most, in essence, I generally have feelings of inadequacies. I feel sometimes that people tolerate me, put up with me etc. And yet, I have some stellar friends, really nice great people. In some of my more lucid moments, I remind myself that these intelligent people must see something positive in me to keep that relationship going. Thus I try telling myself that for all those people to see something good/decent/whatever, there must be something with merit to it, even though I don't always appreciate this myself.

 

[lemonjelly]

Had to go to the Drs for the first time today to discuss my own MH issues.

Have hit a real low the last few weeks and my home life + work are really starting to suffer.

Have been referred to counselling for now as the GP didn’t want to put me on any meds right away.

Hopefully will see a positive change and beginning by trying to improve things myself.

Whilst undoubtedly there is stuff that we can do as individuals, don't think you have to do it all yourself mate. We're social creatures, thus we work better together.
All the best!