The Mental Health thread

[Sniffer]

There was an article from Stephen Warnock which I wish I could find. He basically lost all his confidence until he started working with a sports phycologist, the long and the short of it was he ended up switching his mindset from playing to avoid the boo's (I e. Playing it safe, taking no risks) to playing for the cheers - he said he played the best football of his career whilst working with this guy.

Also, when he was at villa MON took each player into his office and told them how rubbish they were - presumably looking for a reaction. Warnock said he went from feeling 10 feet tall to feeling like a mouse. No doubt this approach would have worked for some players but everyone is different.

It's really interesting because I think it shows the best managers will be the ones who understand what makes each individual tick. This obviously also applies outside of football.

It was probably a ploy from MON to find out which players needed a kick up the backside and which ones needed an arm around their shoulder to improve their performance levels. I recall reading or hearing MON state that whatever he did for Brian Clough at Forest wasn't good enough and he kept trying to prove him wrong. I got the impression that he was aware of the difference between players and what he needed to do to improve them.

 

[Templeton Peck]

It was probably a ploy from MON to find out which players needed a kick up the backside and which ones needed an arm around their shoulder to improve their performance levels. I recall reading or hearing MON state that whatever he did for Brian Clough at Forest wasn't good enough and he kept trying to prove him wrong. I got the impression that he was aware of the difference between players and what he needed to do to improve them.

I've never been convinced with the 'some need an arm round them and some need a kick' theory. Nobody feels better after they've been screamed at. Aiways says a lot more about the person doing the screaming IMO.

 

[AndyWolves]

I've never been convinced with the 'some need an arm round them and some need a kick' theory. Nobody feels better after they've been screamed at. Aiways says a lot more about the person doing the screaming IMO.

Outright fear is a way to get results and unfortunately it works.

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

I'm no wallflower but I'm absolutely no good if someone has a go at me. I never have any confidence in anything I do so if you pile on slagging me off after that I've had it.

 

[Johnny75]

Outright fear is a way to get results and unfortunately it works.

Really?

Other than, 'If you don't do something you'll die' where does being shouted at work? I would hazard a guess that most people think the person shouting is a fucking arsehole and couldn't wait to do the bare minimum of a job and get out.

If you're trying to rile a player so they play with more fire when they're wound up then I can think of better ways to do it then screaming at them.

 

[Paul]

I've always been a 'If I've cocked up hold your hand up and take the flack' type of person as my anxiety would explode should something be playing on my conscience, but, similar to what LJ is going through. if I found someone was being underhand or derogatory behind my back would crucify me

 

[AndyWolves]

Really?

Other than, 'If you don't do something you'll die' where does being shouted at work? I would hazard a guess that most people think the person shouting is a fucking arsehole and couldn't wait to do the bare minimum of a job and get out.

If you're trying to rile a player so they play with more fire when they're wound up then I can think of better ways to do it then screaming at them.

I was thinking of people like Roy Keane, Alex Ferguson, people at work who know what buttons to push, people who threaten with sackings, redundancies etc.

It's not just fear of your life, it's fear of not providing an income for your family, it's fear of not paying the mortgage and losing your home. There are plenty of fears for unscrupulous bosses / colleagues to play on.

 

[MARKakaJIM]

There are definitely people out there who are motivated by a bollocking, whether it be through the fear it carries trying to avoid a repeat or just proving someone wrong after the dressing down. Equally others would be completely destroyed by such feedback and become even less productive/useful as they buckled under the pressure created.

Some respond better to encouragement and forgiveness of mistakes but again you'll get some that take advantage of that soft touch. Then there are some which will respond to little in any great way and either self motivate or do nothing regardless.

There's no catch all, you have to tailor your approach to the individual and use the delivery that connects best with them.

 

[PPB]

After having family members die from Covid, we give them as good a sending off as best as we can, we remember them, and then life goes on. I've not been in a pleasant place ( like many) been sad, upset, angry at a lot of people, felt let down by some people, and been disgusted by others.

Now, positives outweigh the negatives, seeing the good again in people and not the bad, talking more instead of keeping things inside, smiling again instead of frowning, thankful for many things,and looking forward to more ' normal ' times ahead and hopefully a big fuck off bbq/family get together/celebration around the end of August

Keep smiling, keep ya peckers up, try to look ahead, and UTW x

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

A tough week. A tough end.

I came very close to ending it all tonight. Drew the noose and all that (a hoover cord, for the aficionados). I couldn't do it because I couldn't put people I care about that through it, less still my missus.

So you're stuck with me. But I do hate my life so much.

 

[Deleted Cyber]

A tough week. A tough end.

I came very close to ending it all tonight. Drew the noose and all that (a hoover cord, for the aficionados). I couldn't do it because I couldn't put people I care about that through it, less still my missus.

So you're stuck with me. But I do hate my life so much.

Fuck sake Dan talk to someone and quick. Please

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

There's nothing to talk about. I've got bipolar disorder and my life is shit as a result.

I do my best to make it work, sometimes it's fine, sometimes it's awful.

 

[Deleted Cyber]

There's nothing to talk about. I've got bipolar disorder and my life is shit as a result.

I do my best to make it work, sometimes it's fine, sometimes it's awful.

I have pm you

 

[jd1981]

Just wondering if any of you suffer with severe morning depression but come mid afternoon and evening feel absolutely fine? I’m waking up and spending until lunchtime in a very unpleasant state of depression.

 

[Jabbawolf]

Just wondering if any of you suffer with severe morning depression but come mid afternoon and evening feel absolutely fine? I’m waking up and spending until lunchtime in a very unpleasant state of depression.

Think that is quite a normal pattern - your subconscious goes a bit crazy in the wee hours, adrenaline likely to be flowing, stressy dreams - it takes a few hours for your more rational brain to manage the situation, and mood, better.

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

I haven't got a clue at the moment, I like to think in general I've held it together in really tough circumstances, achieved a lot, but it can all come crumbling down in a second.

Was doing some tidying up yesterday and found my suicide note from last May. That was good.

 

[Jabbawolf]

I haven't got a clue at the moment, I like to think in general I've held it together in really tough circumstances, achieved a lot, but it can all come crumbling down in a second.

Was doing some tidying up yesterday and found my suicide note from last May. That was good.

As I said on FB, your toughest hours and days are ahead of you, when Willian Jose becomes a permanent Wolf.

 

[AndyWolves]

Just wondering if any of you suffer with severe morning depression but come mid afternoon and evening feel absolutely fine? I’m waking up and spending until lunchtime in a very unpleasant state of depression.

Yep, most days, but probably not severe.

I try to find time to practice some mindfulness / meditation which helps take the edge off. Are you able to get any exercise in the mornings? It's tough but getting some endorphins flowing should help along with getting some natural light. I can't remember the name of it but your brain releases a chemical when natural light starts entering your eye to help you wake up too.

 

[Tredman]

Just wondering if any of you suffer with severe morning depression but come mid afternoon and evening feel absolutely fine? I’m waking up and spending until lunchtime in a very unpleasant state of depression.

I’m a little the opposite, usually start the day fairly happy and with loads of energy. I’ve been fighting waking up early for most my life but mostly embrace it now and try and use the energy. By mid-afternoon I’ve pretty much always had enough and am in a right fight funk.

 

[jd1981]

I’m usually up between 5-6 each morning so getting exercise is a tough one.
I worry about the what if scenario all the time which seems to pop up very early on in the mornings.
My mind goes from working with a home and kids happy to being homeless and losing the kids in the space of 5 minutes. Basically turning any problem into a catastrophe.