The Mental Health thread

[Deutsch Wolf]

Hang on in there Dave and Dan, you know that you have friends, mates that you can talk to. Keep going lads

I'm coming out the other side, I know that because I can look objectively at the last fortnight (and a bit more) and assess what a shambles it's been.

I'm getting a bit like a boxer who's had one fight too many but what can I do? I don't have an alternative other than battle away.

 

[EpsomWolf]

But give me someone who shows a bit of vulnerability, who will open up about things and speak freely and honestly and I could talk to people like that all day. Learnt a lot about myself these past 12 months

Vulnerability is something most us have felt from time to time, it’s a difficult thing to cope with. It’s a manifestation of anxiety which is itself underpinned by insecurity. It’s a very damaging triangular trap which can be extremely difficult to get out of.

When people show vulnerability and speak honestly it is often met with your reaction - with empathy and admiration - because we can relate to those emotions ourselves but are just not brave enough to vocalise them.

Covid will have amplified the emotions of those already experiencing vulnerability and brought it to a whole new group who have never experienced it before. That level of normalisation will hopefully reduce any elements of embarrassment or shame and open the doors to helpful conversation.

Like you, I’ve “learnt a lot about myself in the last 12 months”. I’d previously always been determined to ’present’ as doing well with the underpinnings of any anxieties brushed aside. Covid drove those anxieties to a level inescapable of admission and the net result is one of no pretence and absolute honesty going forward. It is a much happier, safer place to be.

I’d read this MB for years without contributing and was often in awe of those that contributed to this MH thread. I would hope it’s been helpful for those that have contributed, but never underestimate how helpful it has been to silent others too.

 

[Paul]

I'm coming out the other side, I know that because I can look objectively at the last fortnight (and a bit more) and assess what a shambles it's been.

I'm getting a bit like a boxer who's had one fight too many but what can I do? I don't have an alternative other than battle away.

Rachel must be a help ?

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

Rachel must be a help ?

More than you can believe. I feel bad for burdening her with it all though, this was all in the brochure but it's one thing to sign up to it, another to live with it.

Without her I don't think I'd have survived the last year. But I need to do my bit too.

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

I’d read this MB for years without contributing and was often in awe of those that contributed to this MH thread. I would hope it’s been helpful for those that have contributed, but never underestimate how helpful it has been to silent others too.

It's good of you to say man, but there's no glamour in this at all. It's fucking horrible, I hate having to fight so hard just to survive. If I could never talk about it ever again that'd be just great because it'd mean there's not a problem.

What it proves is that as a condition it doesn't discriminate. I've never been happier in a relationship, it's fantastic, she's genuinely changed my life. Doesn't matter, when it wants to attack it will. How I feel in general is irrelevant, as are finances, football, work, etc etc etc.

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

I think it's all over to be honest. I can't do it any more.

I just can't.

 

[The Bear]

Of course you can Dan. This bastard will be gone as quick as it came. You just have to ride it out like usual. Get on the phone to Rachel.

 

[Tredman]

I’ve been feeling really fed up and just ‘down in the dumps’ for the past month or 2. Everything I’ve tried, including getting out, quitting my job etc., forcing myself to do stuff hasn’t really made much of a difference.

At 11 Friday morning I suddenly felt energetic and better - really can’t describe it. Since then I’ve worked solidly (in the job I quit) until late Friday, walked the kids yesterday until their legs fell off, built my own fence panels, completely revamped the front garden, tidied and cleaned every room in the house, ran a half marathon, prepped all the food for a big bbq today and have just finished doing the back garden.

This isn’t normal, right?

 

[Paul]

Did you say bbq ???

 

[Tredman]

Definitely! Meat marinading already, everything primed for post football. Even cleaned the bbq and tools.

 

[Paul]

Joking apart, hope you're OK, have you felt anxious about quitting your job, did you feel you've let other people down by doing so, rather than what's right for you ?

 

[Tredman]

A little bit, not even sure it’s the right thing for me just felt like I needed a change.

 

[lemonjelly]

This isn’t normal, right?

I honestly don't know what is anymore tbh. Most of last year I thought most stuff was actually pretty good in the main. Looking back now however, I think that as the year went on the experience of stress was just going up and up, and I was totes unawares. Everything plummeted throughout winter.

Things have improved, a little, since the clocks changed. But I'm not sure I'd say things are good yet.

I'm trying to work out whether the fact you're not heavily critiquing your decisions is a positive thing mind.

 

[sycophantia]

I’ve been feeling really fed up and just ‘down in the dumps’ for the past month or 2. Everything I’ve tried, including getting out, quitting my job etc., forcing myself to do stuff hasn’t really made much of a difference.

At 11 Friday morning I suddenly felt energetic and better - really can’t describe it. Since then I’ve worked solidly (in the job I quit) until late Friday, walked the kids yesterday until their legs fell off, built my own fence panels, completely revamped the front garden, tidied and cleaned every room in the house, ran a half marathon, prepped all the food for a big bbq today and have just finished doing the back garden.

This isn’t normal, right?

Tbh, it sounds quite normal to me, although maybe not to the extremes you're experiencing. I often go through periods when I feel 'down in the dumps' for no apparent reason and then out of nowhere I perk up and am much happier

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

I'm completely the wrong person to ask, circumstances have next to zero impact on how I feel. My disorder means every day is a roulette wheel. I can do what I can to control it and I have an amazing support network but sometimes I just don't know, and it's not really in my control.

The only thing I can say is that moving out of a comfort zone is sometimes both good and bad, mentally. It's whether you think the balance is more towards the positive side and how much of a gamble you'd like to take on that front.

Talking to people helps. But you've got to be comfortable with it, and so do those hearing it. I wouldn't necessarily talk directly to my family about what I've got, but I tell Rachel everything. It kind of works.

 

[jd1981]

Never got chance to thank everyone for their suggestions with my problems a few weeks back.
Currently training to be a counsellor for one it’s something I’m interested in plus it’s also helping me learn about myself to.

 

[lemonjelly]

fucking annoying how fragile MH can be. After a pretty low winter, started feeling/hoping things around my MH were improving across the past 6/7 weeks.
Came crashing down this morning on receipt of a message from a so called colleague. Pretty out of order, blaming me for them not taking care and checking their facts before acting.
worse, is that I recently re-arranged a load of my leave dates to accommodate them, and also they're bessie mates with management, meaning I can't do fuck all about it.
except stew, which is what I have ended up doing all day. Haven't moved from this chair all evening really. And I'm still awake, just staring at a screen because I can't do anything else right now.

 

[darlowolf64]

fucking annoying how fragile MH can be. After a pretty low winter, started feeling/hoping things around my MH were improving across the past 6/7 weeks.
Came crashing down this morning on receipt of a message from a so called colleague. Pretty out of order, blaming me for them not taking care and checking their facts before acting.
worse, is that I recently re-arranged a load of my leave dates to accommodate them, and also they're bessie mates with management, meaning I can't do fuck all about it.
except stew, which is what I have ended up doing all day. Haven't moved from this chair all evening really. And I'm still awake, just staring at a screen because I can't do anything else right now.

Don't let an arsehole get under your skin Warren. Just remember this and next time they come begging for help be a little less accommodating!
Keep your head up mate

 

[EpsomWolf]

fucking annoying how fragile MH can be. After a pretty low winter, started feeling/hoping things around my MH were improving across the past 6/7 weeks.
Came crashing down this morning on receipt of a message from a so called colleague. Pretty out of order, blaming me for them not taking care and checking their facts before acting.
worse, is that I recently re-arranged a load of my leave dates to accommodate them, and also they're bessie mates with management, meaning I can't do fuck all about it.
except stew, which is what I have ended up doing all day. Haven't moved from this chair all evening really. And I'm still awake, just staring at a screen because I can't do anything else right now.c

What is annoying is deceitful people can behave in a manner that affects your emotions negatively. You then chastise yourself for your own MH fragility and transfer the blame to yourself. You then stop trusting people to protect your emotions and off you go down an unhealthy path.

It happens a lot to kind, benevolent people. It‘s often seen as weakness and they inevitably get shat on again and again. There’s a balance to be struck and we all need to have an element of backbone and resilience, but it’s a crying shame when good people have to build in defence mechanisms to cope with arseholes. And there are a lot of them unfortunately.

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

Bipolar is trying to kill me right now. Fuck off son, you don't win this one.