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The Goggle Box Thread

Looking forward to it tomorrow. Also looking forward to a new series of Masterchef starting in 15 minutes.
 
Paddingtonwolf said:
Looking forward to it tomorrow. Also looking forward to a new series of Masterchef starting in 15 minutes.
Click to expand...

Different format to the pro one (I prefer the pro version). But not a bad start, ever fancied your chances Pad?
 
I would be fucked in the invention test I reckon. My repertoire isn't big enough yet. Maybe after a few years more practice. Plus I fucking suck at desserts, and if you can't do a pud, you aren't impressing Gregg!
 
It always amazes me that all these chefs still cant master timing !
 
We've got it on Sky+, looking forward to some abominations and some class. I do prefer the professional version though although now Michel Roux Jr has buggered off (the BBC being fucking ludicrous about conflict of interest when he advertised some spuds. FFS) I don't know what it'll be like.

As for the invention test I reckon mine would be something like:

'So, Mr Wombat: you've got some strawberries, a pineapple, cherries, an apple, a tub of creme fraiche, some honey and some sweet biscuits. What have you decided to make?'
'I'm going to make a fruit phall John,'
'Don't you mean a fruit fool?'
'No Greg, a fruit phall. Now shut up and eat you gobby greengrocer bastard,'
 
It's because they are trying to do too much to impress. Surely they have practiced these dishes loads of times though before the show (bar the invention tests for obvious reasons) and so should know how to get the food out on time?

That white sauce with the seabass was fucking rancid. Looked like a puddle.
 
Wombat del combate said:
We've got it on Sky+, looking forward to some abominations and some class. I do prefer the professional version though although now Michel Roux Jr has buggered off (the BBC being fucking ludicrous about conflict of interest when he advertised some spuds. FFS) I don't know what it'll be like.

As for the invention test I reckon mine would be something like:

'So, Mr Wombat: you've got some strawberries, a pineapple, cherries, an apple, a tub of creme fraiche, some honey and some sweet biscuits. What have you decided to make?'
'I'm going to make a fruit phall John,'
'Don't you mean a fruit fool?'
'No Greg, a fruit phall. Now shut up and eat you gobby greengrocer bastard,'
Click to expand...

the pro show won't work without Michel and Monica the psycho-chef-from-hell. Stupid decision from the beeb. Are they removing him from food and drink as well?

Shame they didn't do this revamp of masterchef ten years earlier. Fuck off the Lloyd Grossman years and have Keith Floyd in the Torode role. Would have been alcoholic carnage and utterly ace.
 
I didn't realise Michel Roux had gone, he was great on it. He's still doing his Service show for the BBC though isn't he?
 
No idea. I just happened to notice it on the other night.
 
Same here. Just presumed they were old as they hadn't been advertised at all.
 
Paddingtonwolf said:
the pro show won't work without Michel and Monica the psycho-chef-from-hell. Stupid decision from the beeb. Are they removing him from food and drink as well?
Click to expand...

I'm not sure but it's safe to say that it's a bollocks decision from the BBC; apparently Roux offered to drop his advertisement but they refused. Trouble is, James Martin (and others) also have their own products such as cooking utensils and so on but don't get pulled up on it? Looking at that would suggest double standards.

We tried to work out who could replace him and drew a blank. Marcus Wareing would be good but I think he's not quite screen-friendly enough, plus he looks like he'd nut someone if they fucked up the beurre blanc.
 
They'll get inHeston Blumenthal's second chef - Jocky Petrie on something like that. Appeared on the show quite a bit in the past as Heston can't with his Channel Four contract.
 
Wombat del combate said:
I think he's left the Fat Duck now? If so then that might be plausible.
Click to expand...

That's a good shout but I don't think his voice lends itself to presenting, he's a bit quiet and unassuming rather than the suave and easy flow of Roux. Stupid decision by the Beeb..
 
I don't want Tom Kerridge because he's in that 'nicey-nicey' vein and quite monotone too, much like that hoofing arsegoblet Hairy Biker who was on Strictly last year.
 
It has to be a big Michelin starred chef, and preferably slightly scary so that the pros are suitably intimidated. Angela Hartnett maybe?

The thing is you have to replace Monica Galetti in the early rounds and Michel Sr and Albert in the later bits where they are always used. Presumably they won't be too enamoured with this decision either.

As an aside I always buy the potatoes Michel was endorsing!
 
Good shout Paddy. Maybe Nathan Outlaw? Although, as you say, they've effectively buggered the format because of the Roux connection so it's going to take some reworking.
 
Paddingtonwolf said:
It has to be a big Michelin starred chef, and preferably slightly scary so that the pros are suitably intimidated. Angela Hartnett maybe?

The thing is you have to replace Monica Galetti in the early rounds and Michel Sr and Albert in the later bits where they are always used. Presumably they won't be too enamoured with this decision either.

As an aside I always buy the potatoes Michel was endorsing!
Click to expand...

Not a fan of Hartnett she's too nasal for me. Agree with Wombat on Kerridge too. Marcus Waring would be ace just so he can cut though a contestant with his eyes and monosyllabic responses to a plate put down in front of him that looks like somebody's arranged vomit on.

Other than that, maybe Sat Baines or Glynn Purnell?
 
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