The All New Alan Partridge Thread

[Deutsch Wolf]

I just hate the general public.

 

[Langers]

Alan's Deep Bath.

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

Full steam ahead.

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

Lynn, I want you to get onto Sol Dangerfield's casting agency and get me a 40 year-old scorcher. And do use that word.

 

[Langers]

He provides all her sexual...... er..... intercourse.

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

Good God, no. I'm old enough to be her father. Or at least her older brother. Either way it's incest.

 

[Langers]

Where is she then? Where's the other pig?

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

Manchester. Cotton and guns.

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

"And our first caller is David Silk from Leeds. David, are you wearing any silk?"

"No, I'm naked."

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

Cliff Thorburn is not a presenter. He is a snooker player - ex-snooker player - and is an unknown quantity.

 

[Haggstone]

Technicaly Lyne your life's not worth insuring.

 

[MARKakaJIM]

I'm trapped under a cow, i'm not ok.

 

[Templeton Peck]

You are a big posh sod with plums in your mouth. Except the plums have mutated and they've got beaks.

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

You feed beefburgers to swans.

 

[Paul]

Your hair looks snazzy... is that your mum's money coming through? All part of the bereavement dividend!

 

[Langers]

The secret underground base of an evil genius.... and then Dr No.

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

"Pick a U2 album."

"The Joshua Tree."

"Funny that, because he actually wrote part of it over there. And another bit.....over there. Bono?!"

 

[Langers]

"Whoa - whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Which are the less important Bond films, Lyn? I can't wait to hear this."

 

[Langers]

"Graveyards are so depressing. They remind of..... death."

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

Folk might say you're a cereal killer.