Aikiwolf
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We've got some sporty types on here, coaches and such, and some parents so here's a Mumsnet style poser for you...
As I've posted on here, we took up kayak racing a couple of years ago as a family. We all still do it, but my eldest daughter (14) shows the most promise, really likes it, likes the club and the people and seems to enjoy the races and the training. She would appear to have the potential to reach quite a good standard. Generally that happens by moving up into different groups within the club and doing more/different training.
Trouble is, daughter is painfully shy and terrified of joining a higher level group with people she doesn't know, or at least hasn't spent time with so is refusing to take it further. Up to her of course, and we would never force her to do something she didn't want to do, but we know she would enjoy it once she started, she's even said as much herself, so we are trying to persuade her with no luck so far and risk making it worse and putting her off the sport altogether.
So which way to go - continue to encourage/cajole/sigh in a passive-aggressive manner, or just let her find her own way? I suspect the latter but there's a fair chance if we leave it up to her she'll never do anything, which would be a shame. some kids do seem to need a gentle shove.
We're not pushy parents and we don't care whether she just paddles for fun on a Saturday morning or wants to be an Olympian, but I'd hate to see her stop doing something she likes just because she's shy.
So if you've ever been a terrified 14-year-old girl or have the job of parenting/coaching/helping one (in whatever way), what would you do?
I teach a martial art (and have a qualification). The only route for a parent is encouragement.
Scared children/young teenagers need support. Maybe take her to watch the higher level train, she could chat to a few people and that might be enough. go with her and stay for the first few classes and support her at a higher level.
Is her current coach (assuming there are different coaches for the differing levels) able to be with her to train in her first few sessions with the higher group? Are you or any members of your family of an ability that you could try the higher level without any danger to yourselves?