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The Advice Thread

We've got some sporty types on here, coaches and such, and some parents so here's a Mumsnet style poser for you...

As I've posted on here, we took up kayak racing a couple of years ago as a family. We all still do it, but my eldest daughter (14) shows the most promise, really likes it, likes the club and the people and seems to enjoy the races and the training. She would appear to have the potential to reach quite a good standard. Generally that happens by moving up into different groups within the club and doing more/different training.

Trouble is, daughter is painfully shy and terrified of joining a higher level group with people she doesn't know, or at least hasn't spent time with so is refusing to take it further. Up to her of course, and we would never force her to do something she didn't want to do, but we know she would enjoy it once she started, she's even said as much herself, so we are trying to persuade her with no luck so far and risk making it worse and putting her off the sport altogether.

So which way to go - continue to encourage/cajole/sigh in a passive-aggressive manner, or just let her find her own way? I suspect the latter but there's a fair chance if we leave it up to her she'll never do anything, which would be a shame. some kids do seem to need a gentle shove.

We're not pushy parents and we don't care whether she just paddles for fun on a Saturday morning or wants to be an Olympian, but I'd hate to see her stop doing something she likes just because she's shy.

So if you've ever been a terrified 14-year-old girl or have the job of parenting/coaching/helping one (in whatever way), what would you do?

I teach a martial art (and have a qualification). The only route for a parent is encouragement.

Scared children/young teenagers need support. Maybe take her to watch the higher level train, she could chat to a few people and that might be enough. go with her and stay for the first few classes and support her at a higher level.

Is her current coach (assuming there are different coaches for the differing levels) able to be with her to train in her first few sessions with the higher group? Are you or any members of your family of an ability that you could try the higher level without any danger to yourselves?
 
Thanks Paul, YW, Johnny and Aiki! All wise words!

There seems to be a philosophy at the club that the child needs to push her/himself forward for higher groups as the higher levels do require quite a lot of self-motivation. That's fair enough I think for some kids, and we've seen others do just that. But someone like Ella would be too scared. They are a lovely group of people at the club so she doesn't need to be but hey!

So I think we'll continue to let her find her own way until she's comfortable in herself moving up, but maybe also chat with the coaches about it. It might be that it just takes one of them to say, "Ella, you're doing really well, we want you to come down and train a bit more often." It's always very different, as Johnny says, when it's not coming from a family member.
 
Yes very easy Frank. I use one in my car stereo every day.

All you do is plug it in to the pc/laptop. The drive pops up and then you just drag and drop the files you want onto it. You can use folders as they act as 'albums' for different bands/playlists.

Thank you for your help. I have transferred quite a lot of music now.

Is that what they mean by Bearshare...!!!
 
Got an appointment at my GP on the 2nd June.

Some years ago i spent the summer working on the beach renting canoes and pedaloes.
One day i couldn't put my foot down and the lads ferried me off to hospital.

the hospital, More a local clinic really, sent m off into town for an x ray, and the x ray bod showed me where the broken bone was and sent me to an orthopaedic guy to have the plaster applied. (that's the way it works here).

The orthopaedic guy was a genius looked at the x ray laughed his balls off and asked to touch my foot, promising to be gentle. he was, but i still went 6 ft in the air, it was so painful.

He correctly diagnosed, (to my utter horror and surprise), GOUT! or as they call it here Euric acid.

Told me what not to eat and drink for a few days, gave me a prescription for suppositories ( apparently they act faster) and within 3 days i was walking again no problem.

I would have sworn there was a broken bone, and always believed gout was only for old duffers drinking vast amounts of port, in gentlemen's clubs, but he was spot on, and you could have knocked me down with a feather.

the fact that everyone here knew in two minutes and were all busily carving huge penises out of wood to help me administer the medicine didn't help, but the guy got it right and as it happens i met him yesterday and insisted on buying him a beer, some 15 years after the event.

get it checked out by someone who knows.
 
There are robins in the garden here. Indeed, there's a robin nest in the ivy on one side of the garden.
The robins did start building a nest in ivy the other side of the garden, & I have held off pruning the ivy on both sides, as I don't want to disturb the younglings. I am having to repeatedly chase off a very fat looking cat most evenings that appears to know there are chicks in there.
I don't want to disturb, as I assume messing about might make the parents not return. But how long do I have to wait? At what point will the little uns be able to leave the nest?
 
I found a Robins nest with young in an old football under a shrub in my back garden a few years ago, when i moved it to chuck it away the nest dropped out.

I carefully put on a branch in a tree, it was soon found by the parents, no harm seemed to to have been done.
 
There are robins in the garden here. Indeed, there's a robin nest in the ivy on one side of the garden.
The robins did start building a nest in ivy the other side of the garden, & I have held off pruning the ivy on both sides, as I don't want to disturb the younglings. I am having to repeatedly chase off a very fat looking cat most evenings that appears to know there are chicks in there.
I don't want to disturb, as I assume messing about might make the parents not return. But how long do I have to wait? At what point will the little uns be able to leave the nest?

All you ever wanted to know about breeding robins but were too afraid to ask... or weren't in this case - http://www.rspb.org.uk/discoverandenjoynature/discoverandlearn/birdguide/name/r/robin/nesting.aspx
 
Nice one SLA! Another 7-8 weeks then.
Interesting that robins aren't worried about other birds. The same (I assume - they all look alike innit :icon_wink: ) robin appeared to be building a nest the other side of the garden & I thought that they left it because a blackbird starting nesting there.
 
I had to move a swallows nest two weeks ago, with young in it, i moved it gradually day by day and they found it ok
 
Is all fixed?

Had to cancel that appointment and it was rearranged for this morning. The Doctor gave a list of things it could be but just to be safe, wrote me a form for an x-ray - so I'm off to the local hospital next week.
 
Could anyone help me and let me know what it's like driving to coventry from wolves in the morning? Got to be there for 9 30.

Not sure whether to use toll or not and what time I need to leave?
 
Well, you'll be using the M6 I would have thought, so it'll be anywhere between shit and hell on earth.
 
10 to 9 on M6 Southbound is an absolute nightmare at the moment, the Southbound sliproad is closed at 9 so majority of that traffic goes up to 10 to get on and just gridlocks that stretch.

Going for the toll or heading into West Brom and getting on the M5 to bypass it are probably your best bets I'd have thought, probably depends which side of Wolverhampton you're starting out from as to which one works best. Probably be pretty shit around Coleshill and the junction with the M42 when you get down that way too.
 
Go for the toll, cut across on a460 and pick it up near Cannock. There'll still be traffic where it meets the m6 at the end, so I'd give it an hour and a half to be safe.
 
In coming from West side. I think I might just take hit and go up to 12 and then get the toll. I'd rather just pay the toll than sit in traffic and then potentially be late.

I'm normally working in Brum so just leave early and miss it all but I don't want to be in coventry uber early so leaving at peak times. Toll seems only option. The M6 is normally ok on way home so guess only need to pay once. Cheers guys
 
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