Fire! Fire! The fair’s on fire! I’m joking of course, it’s not, but that’s the kind of thing you can see from… the… oh, what are they called - The local fire brigade, I don’t know the district, in tent four. My own tip is ‘never throw water on a fat fire’, it’ll take your face off. The stocks are now open for custard pie throwing. Tell you who I’d like to put in the stocks – Tony Hayers. He’s the Chief Commissioning Editor of BBC Television. And it wouldn’t be custard pies I’d be throwing at him, either. I’d like to throw cabbages, hot Bovril and gravel. I don’t know if you’re familiar with BBC commissioning policy, they are obliged to contract out a certain percentage of their programmes to independent programme-makers, and…I mean… you’re not even listening, are you? You people. Er, I’m going. It’s all wrapping up in about an hour, anyway, so I don’t think you’ll miss me. Thank you, goodbye.