The Mental Health thread

[Deutsch Wolf]

Ah, mate. I help you out because you're a really good friend. It cuts both ways. The way I see it, this bugger might do over one bloke but it won't do over two who are working together.

But yeah, cheers. I don't generally do the self pat on the back stuff but I genuinely have come a long way. When I look at where I was 5-6 years ago...fucking hell. I was gone. Now I'm doing alright, there's something there for people to look at.

 

[Alan]

Really heartening stuff, Dan.

 

[Freddeno]

Good to hear Dan

 

[lemonjelly]

Good News stories always lift my day

 

[lemonjelly]

Interview with Christian Nade regarding his experiences, and the time it has taken him to obtain a diagnosis:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/46003082

 

[Dublin Drummer Wolf]

Anyone else feeling massively depressed and wondering what the hell they are doing with their life?

I am feeling low all day, even though I am surrounded by good things, I really had my head turned while working in Lisbon and am sitting here wondering whether I should give up my job here and go on an adventure.

Also, the thought of getting married in 6 months is filling me with dread.

 

[lemonjelly]

What is filling you with dread mate?

 

[tricky wolf]

well 12 months was when my wife was diagnosed with cancer, and from no where I have been going threw every single emotion and pain from that day ,week .its hit me like a baseball bat this week crying at work ffs had a total melt down Monday ffs. a week b4 I was enjoying my first visit to Scotland ! totally dreading xmas family trying to rally round just makes it worce .
new year im planning to go veggie and try and do the gym 3 times a week but at 51 not sure its a good idea . just think gym might help get something out my system any thoughts ppl ?

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

Anniversaries of traumatic events are never easy, especially the first one.

I've never been a gym bunny personally but it does work for some people, if it's something you think will help then go for it. I constantly have to tweak all my little routines, if I let things get stale then things get bad very quickly. If the gym doesn't work out I hear walking football is very popular with your age group? Could be a way of meeting new people too (if that's what you want), I imagine the gym can be a bit solitary.

I couldn't be giving up meat though...

Stay strong man, there's always an ear here.

 

[tricky wolf]

well always been fit walk around 7 miles a day any way used to run and martial arts till I was 30 odd lol think punchbag might be better suited to me . going abroad first time in jan . fancy paragliding while away lol
yes its a first yr of everything for me coped with most ok ! this just hit me hard . think I have learned i'm going to have bad days weeks , just need to make the best of the good 1s .

 

[darlowolf64]

Tricky... I'm 54 now and a few years ago i went on a fitness drive as I'd put a little weight on so I joined a gym and it lasted just under a month. I have always been fairly fit and had still played Sunday morning football into my late 40's so thought it would be good for me. I just didn't enjoy it and quickly lost drive and interest but that might be me. I too walk a fair bit and in better weather get out on my bike, I find it more appealing. Oh and I'm with Dan, I'm not sure I could give up meat!

As for how you've been feeling, emotions are a strange thing but I have learnt over the years that it is better to let them out than bottling them up. You have clearly been holding your emotions in check and they just caught you by surprise. Don't be ashamed and don't be embarrassed, stay strong and find yourself some "quiet time" when you can. Embrace the family intervention (if you can) and keep strong

 

[lemonjelly]

agree with both darlo & deutsch tricky. The first year is always the hardest, as it is the first everything without the person you've lost. You'll get better at managing things.

talking helps, even if online with random strangers like us.

the gym may well work for you. It will give you some structure, some social contact and so on. You'll find out when you try it. Equally, if it doesn't work, don't be afraid to try something else.

As Deutsch says, stay strong.

 

[Stan Hullis]

Anyone else feeling massively depressed and wondering what the hell they are doing with their life?

I am feeling low all day, even though I am surrounded by good things, I really had my head turned while working in Lisbon and am sitting here wondering whether I should give up my job here and go on an adventure.

Also, the thought of getting married in 6 months is filling me with dread.

Hope you're feeling better mate.

Having broken up from an 11 year relationship and cancelling a wedding that was due in May 2019, I might be able to relate with what you're going through.

Just drop me a line if you want to chat, you've got my details.

 

[Dublin Drummer Wolf]

Hope you're feeling better mate.

Having broken up from an 11 year relationship and cancelling a wedding that was due in May 2019, I might be able to relate with what you're going through.

Just drop me a line if you want to chat, you've got my details.

Cheers man. Will drop you a message this weekend

 

[Murphy]

.

 

[Murphy]

Anyone else feeling massively depressed and wondering what the hell they are doing with their life?

I am feeling low all day, even though I am surrounded by good things, I really had my head turned while working in Lisbon and am sitting here wondering whether I should give up my job here and go on an adventure.

Also, the thought of getting married in 6 months is filling me with dread.

My advice to you about your wedding is if you are dreading it for goodness sake don't do it.

 

[Tony Towner]

For me it's what are you dreading, the wedding or the marriage? It it's the former then you need to decide if you can get through it for the benefit of your soon to be wife (assuming she wants all the pomp). If the latter you need to call it off and go Swedish!

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

Ultimately a wedding is one day, it's a bag of wank (you will never spend more time in your life grinning inanely for photos) but it's doable.

Being with someone you're not actually that keen on and being locked in is a fucking living nightmare so do not do that if that is the problem.

 

[Parkins left foot]

Everyone gets second thoughts about whether it is the right decision - as TT says depends which issue is giving you the feelings

 

[Premier Quality]

My advice to you about your wedding is if you are dreading it for goodness sake don't do it.

I went through with a marriage to a woman I didn’t actually like very much - turns out it wasn’t a good idea (I know, shocker right?) I tried to call it off the week before but she cried and I caved - bejng “nice” isn’t a great idea when you’re doing something that will affect the rest of your life.

If you don’t think it’s the right thing to do, there’s a good chance it isn’t the right thing to do. At the very least, talk about it with someone neutral and understand why you’re dreading it.