A message for Mr. Donald. J. Trump.
Thank you for telling the world that "the Brits cannot fight on their own" and that our boys are "non too keen to be near the frontline" when the going gets a little fraught Shall we say!
Just a reminder to your good self.
A very loathsome self.
A man who is the poster boy for the once little known about medical condition of (osteophytes) Bone Spurs.
This insult from a five times draft dodger who comes from a family linear line of historical draft dodgers and cowards.
All of whom have never seen a front line in over a hundred twenty years of conflicts including two world wars..
(To busy raping young trafficked children on private islands i guess)
Maybe that is why you have that curious painted on orange face of yours?
So it compliments that gutless bright yellow streak that runs through the entire length of your spine!
A spine that is so weak and so pathetic, it hardly keeps you in a upright position these days!
You hunch and stumble around like a less aesthetically pleasing version of Victor Hugo's "Quasimodo."
But certainly showing none of the Notre-Dame bell ringers integrity, bravery and courage.
The last time ( those cowardly Brits as you have alluded to) were forced to take the naughty stick out of the naughty cupboard under the Royal military stairs of her then Majesty's "Ministry of Defense."
Was in order to teach some etiquette and basic good table manners, to a thoroughly rude south American dictating utter scoundrel.
Whom would now find himself in line for a dam good old fashioned British thrashing on the naughty step of the South Atlantic Ocean.
So our boys rolled up their bed packs and kissed their mothers goodbye, but not farewell, and got into those, what you called "a few toy tin boats." and off they sailed 8000 miles across the oceans of the world to fight the good fight.
Stopping briefly for a fun day of sports including the highly competitive egg and spoon race and then ended all the festivities with a good old English brew up, before being tucked in, tucked up and lights out, ready for early starters in the morning.
Her Majesty's armed forces then got to work and proceeded to kick out a heavily fortified entrenched well armed foreign army who were illegally occupying sovereign British lands under the protection of her Majesty's democratically elected government back in the city of London.
All without killing a single little school girl (let alone 142 of them) and all within 74 days including travel time, tea breaks and a movie night.
Since that last jolly little overseas outing for her Majesty's combined armed forces. Nobody has really bothered to provoke or poke this quaint little island of ours.
I guess it sent a lasting message to the scoundrels of the world to curb their bullying ways!
As i say, it is not the size of the squirrel. But the size of the dam fight that dwells deep within the little buck teethed feisty furry nut crackers.
So since then, we have had to still keep our boys and girls in tip top shape and relatively focused. By bailing you sorry arsed, useless calamity ridden wankers out.
Meaning your numerous wars in Afghanistan and Iraq and Syria.
All of which you have royally fucked up the bloody royal chuffer!
The US military brief is seemingly to just shoot at everything that moves or crawls on the face of the earth! Be it friend or foe! Blow up a whole lot of shit! Kill a load of civilians! Claim victory and go home.
Hence why the Taliban are now driving to work in US tanks.
4 trillion dollars to replace the dastardly Taliban with errrrr the dastardly Taliban. (Same to now happen in Iran)
And we still have those evil thoroughly rotten to the core buggers who call themselves ISIS. Who are now once again spreading all over Iraq like the nuclear orange foundation that is constantly running down your sweaty (and not to be rude) rather ugly lying bloated face.
And i have not even pulled at the thread of your own disastrous little solo outing/rampage/murder/rape spree, inside Vietnam.
Where sadly there was no-one to hold your hand and steady the good old ship of Liberty and Freedom for you!
So you just went utterly feral.
So finally! You, orangutangs saggy left bollock !
We Brits may infight and we may at times be divided and at odds and we do love to bicker between ourselves more than just a little.
That much i will gracefully admit!
But never EVER make the mistake that we do not as a country become as an unbreakable solid one! When called upon in times of danger, need and peril.
Like when somebody seeks to harm us, insult us and question our integrity and interfere with our utterly ridiculous silly way of life.
And as bad as our democratically elected governments are!
And they truly are.
They are still OUR poor excuse of governments and they answer only to US the people of Britain!
Not to a lying uneducated unqualified, rambling sweaty nonsensical, ill mannered, reprehensible buffoon from across the pond.
Much like your good self sir.
Thank you so much for your attention to these minor but relatively important matters.
Kind regards.
From all of the good honest loving, mostly peaceful folks of these green and pleasant valleys, hills and lands of jolly old eccentric tea drinking, bonkers little old Britain.
PS: Fuck you.
PPS: Oh yea ! Fuck you again.
PPS: How is Iran going ? You utter fucky fuckery fuckwit.
