The Advice Thread

[Langers]

I'm all the more tempted to do that today. I was having a text conversation with her boyfriend yesterday - all perfectly innocent of course - and she must have gone through his phone as she text me later on that night saying her boyfriend had spoken to me more that day than her. She also didn't take too kindly to the fact that we'd spoken about her even though it was just me asking her boyfriend if she had been alright recently due to her shutting off (for want of a better phrase). In any case she apologised for being a "complete dick" and "overreacting", but if she's starting to see me as a threat to her relationship when, really, all I was doing was making an effort with her boyfriend and asking if she was okay, well, maybe I should just totally rethink my stance.

Bloody hell - is she 12?

 

[Wolvensam]

I'd sort-of be a bit empathetic if I was single, even though I'd never do that to a friend, but as things stand I just can't get my head around it at all. I'll pull her up on it later and she'll probably deny that she thought me and her boyfriend were "up to anything" but I'm not sure why else she'd root through our message thread (albeit a very small message thread) and find it of any particular relevance - or why it even matters - who he text more out of the two of us!

I just want to smash my head against a brick wall now. There's only so much you can help people before they need to learn how to help themselves.

 

[Penk Wolf]

Bloody hell, I'm glad I'm 37 with a family and far away from those days. I remember the days of youth insecurity.

Hope that didn't sound patronising, Sam.

 

[Wolvensam]

Not at all, I find it equally as embarrassing on my friend's behalf to be honest. If there's one thing I thought I'd never be accused of...

 

[Langers]

There's only so much you can help people before they need to learn how to help themselves.

Absolutely.

 

[Penk Wolf]

If I had my time again, I wouldn't even consider a relationship until I was about 25/26, I'd just go out and enjoy myself and only have to think about myself.

 

[PPB]

If I had my time again, I wouldn't even consider a relationship until I was about 25/26, I'd just go out and enjoy myself and only have to think about myself.

+1

 

[PPB]

+1

I'd also add that I wouldn't ever have got married, but would happily live in sin all my life .

 

[Langers]

Getting married is one of the best things I ever did. That and my 2 kids are the things in my life I'm most proud of, and won't ever be topped.

 

[PPB]

Getting married is one of the best things I ever did. That and my 2 kids are the things in my life I'm most proud of, and won't ever be topped.

Never having had kids I don't know that feeling Langers.

 

[The Bear]

Getting married is one of the best things I ever did. That and my 2 kids are the things in my life I'm most proud of, and won't ever be topped.

Would it be any different if you were just living together and unmarried?

I'm with PPB. Marriage is pointless IMO.

 

[Langers]

Would it be any different if you were just living together and unmarried?

I'm with PPB. Marriage is pointless IMO.

It's very much a personal preference mate. We wanted the 'piece of paper', our own special day, all our friends and family present, and memories that will last with us forever.

Can you live without that? Yes of course you can. Would it be any different? For us, yes it would because we wouldn't feel we'd made the biggest step and our relationship wouldn't feel 'complete'.

 

[The Bear]

That's fair enough if it's all about the occasion. Quite expensive though.

 

[PPB]

Marriage has its good points , but to me it has many bad things going for it ( again like Langers its all down to personal preference and feelings towards the subject ) To me, if a couple love each other than what difference does a piece of paper make. Its just a piece of paper. Its my 20th Wedding Anniversary next month and because I didn't have a ' proper ' wedding ' all those years ago, I was asked if I wanted to re new my vows again , with a vicar, and people I know there. Do I fuck !

Maybe its different if you want kids, and have kids I don't know. But for a couple who aren't going to have kids then I would suggest living together. Marriage can sometimes be a farce, but that's just my onion.., sorry, opinion.

 

[Langers]

That's fair enough if it's all about the occasion. Quite expensive though.

Depends on how big you want the day to be I suppose. Ours wasn't cheap but we went for a place that could host a lot of people rather than a swanky venue that cost more for less. The only thing we really spent a lot of money on (comparatively) was our honeymoon.

Basically, neither of us would have been comfortable without being married - it was a logical and for us necessary step in our lives. I fully appreciate and respect couples who don't want to do it but it was something we really wanted.

 

[Wolvensam]

I want to get married for the reasons Langers stated - my partner thinks it's a waste of a lot of money, though.

 

[Penk Wolf]

I'd also add that I wouldn't ever have got married, but would happily live in sin all my life .

I wish I was in my 30s when I got married so I could have appreciated it more.

 

[Penk Wolf]

Would it be any different if you were just living together and unmarried?

I'm with PPB. Marriage is pointless IMO.

I think it's more important for young kids that their parents have the same surname.

 

[Langers]

We're still the only ones of our friends from around our area who are married with kids. We never would have thought that would have been the case 6 years ago.

 

[PPB]

I think it's more important for young kids that their parents have the same surname.

But does it really matter in this day and age ? As long as Mum & Dad love each other , home life is happy , Mum and Dad adore the kids, what difference does it make if Mums a Smith and Dads a Jones . Its not like it was years back when it was frowned upon.