The Kids Thread

[Parkins left foot]

I once spent all of Christmas day building some massive Thunderbirds space craft for my nephew. He helped for about five minutes then sensibly cleared off to play with his other toys. As far as I know, it went straight under his bed and only came out again when it went to the car boot sale.

That takes me back a good number of years. Youngest son has always been into cars & we had bought a garage with an incredible number of moving parts which took me a whole day to assemble (accompanied by various bouts of incomprehension & swearing).

However, he was delighted on Christmas day so all worthwhile I thought. 10 minutes later saw him staring intently at the garage & when asked if anything was wrong he said ‘that bit there doesn’t look quite right’. I said it must be fine as it all fits & went out of the room only to come back a few minutes later to find the thing almost completely dismantled with him busily reconstructing it.

Had to admit that when he had finished it did work much better, but the ‘salt in the wound’ was that it took him less time, I had had the instruction sheet & he was only 9 at the time!

:facepalm:

That’s when we knew he would work with his hands when he grew up – he now owns a car body repair & paint garage.

 

[Sniffer]

I have a similar tale with a train table, tracks and various other things such as cranes etc. It took me and the good lady till the early hours of Christmas Day to complete and I don't think we were on speaking terms when it was finished. Anyway it looked great, the youngest thought it was great but then commenced a series of unfortunate train crashes etc to demolish all that was on the top. Whenever all the tracks were put back correctly it took him about five minutes to create the same sort of carnage on top.

He may go onto to work in deconstruction - he's not sure yet.

 

[Wolf Hunting]

Just got this.
Each of the 10 items has a photo, but I don't think the pics will come out on here...

A Ten-Month-Old’s Letter To Santa
December 10, 2013

Dear Santa,

I am a ten-month-old baby and I write because my mother has been sending out my “Christmas List” to people, and her list does not in any way represent the things I really want. I could give two shits about receiving stacking cups.

And I know you’re ready to make the joke about ten month-old babies and how all we want is the wrapping paper and the boxes. Touché, Santa. Touché. We do, of course, want those things. But I have a number of additional things I want very badly.

My list is enclosed below. Have a lovely holiday.

-Ten Month-Old Baby

* * *

A Comprehensive List of The Things I Want For Christmas:

Dearest Santa: For Christmas, I would like the following:

* * *

1.) This Laptop Cord
(Photo of a laptop power cord)

I want this laptop cord more than I have ever wanted anything. Please. I also want the power strip with the orange on/off button and the white label on the other cord pictured (the one not connected to the laptop). I would be ok with just a bunch of electrical cords in general, but I would really love these specific ones that are located behind my mother’s desk next to the air-conditioner (whose cord I also want).
* * *
2.) This Wall Mount Entertainment Center
(Photo of a toilet roll on a wall mounted roller)

I have no idea why my mother does not want me to play with this thing, as it is obviously a child’s toy. I would like one for my room.
* * *
3.) House Keys
(Photo of a bunch of 6 or 7 house keys)

I would love a set of house keys. To eat, obviously. Only metal house keys will do. Please do not buy me plastic ones. I am not an idiot. I know that plastic house keys are not real keys.
* * *
4.) Everybody’s Eyeglasses
(Photo of a pair of specs)

I pull these off the face of every person I meet, only to have them pried from my fingers and reclaimed by their original owners. I would love a pair of my own. Again, these are going to be for eating.
* * *
5.) The Contents of This Thing
(Photo of a bathroom waste bin)

I would love for the contents of this thing to be emptied out onto the floor– particularly things like used, wet cotton balls and discarded pieces of floss. If you would like to just take the contents of this bin and transfer it directly into my stocking, that would also be fine.
* * *

6.) Handfuls of the Dog’s Fur
(Photo of a long haired dog)

This stuff is the best. I keep trying to pull it off but she moves frequently, making collection difficult. My favorite thing to do with it is put it in my mouth and then immediately realize that I didn’t want it in my mouth.
* * *
7.) The Hole in the Hallway Floorboard
(Photo of a hole in a real wood floorboard)

Such a strange existential dilemma. I spend hours looking at this hole and poking at it with my fingers. I know that I cannot “have” a hole, as a hole is not a thing that can be had. A hole is an absence. And yet this is supposed to be a list of the things I want, and I want this hole in the hardwood floor the way Gandhi wanted peace. The way the dog wants to lick my face. The way my mother wants me to stop pulling off her eyeglasses.
* * *
8.) This Stuff, Which is All Over the Apartment
(Photo of a ball of fluff, that you'll find under a piece of furniture after a good few months)

I have no idea what this stuff is. All I know is that I want it in my hands and no sooner have I grasped its sweet, delicate softness than my mother comes running over yelling something like, “STOP TOUCHING THAT– HOW OFTEN DO I HAVE TO F*#%ING VACUUM THE G*#@&MN HALLWAY?”
* * *
9.) The Dog’s Food
(Photo of dog's bowl full of dried food)

Every time I get close to this, someone pulls me away. If they don’t want me to eat it, why is it on the floor?
* * *
10.) One of These
(Photo of a mobile phone - turned on)

No idea what these do, but it’s clearly a lot of fun, given that my mother never stops looking at it.
* * *
11.) Bobby Pins
(Photo of a couple of metal hair grips)

These are my favorite! If I had a nickel for every bobby pin I found on the floor I’d have double the number of little metal things I could put in my mouth because, go figure, I also totally love nickels.

 

[machin05]

Does, or has, anyone had problems with their kids escaping from their car seat? Bea has just turned 18 months and can easily get her arms out of her car seat. She's started doing it every time she gets in the car and we're struggling to get her back in without World War 3 erupting.
We bought an anti escape thing from Halfords but it's designed for 2 years plus and it took her all of about 5 minutes to escape from that. It was this one:
http://washford.scene7.com/is/image/Washford/326378?$prod$

We were thinking about something like this would be better:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00FEYEF1C/ref=noref?ie=UTF8&psc=1&s=baby

But before we drop any more coin I thought I'd just ask if anyone had any experience of these things, our if any other advice could be offered.
The issue is that it's a 50 minute journey to/from nursery which is such a long time for a little one that inevitably she gets bored and wants out.
Testing is the word art the moment!

 

[Jolemai]

A short anecdote from the weekend about my two year old:

Train ticket to Cardiff: £6.70
Dairy-free ice cream for Ieuan: £2.00
Watching Ieuan theatrically trip over in Deichmann, fling his tub of now molten ice cream into the air and seeing it land all over the shoes of a lady who was assisting Mrs Jolemai: Priceless!

I don't think I've ever felt mortified and amused at the same time before!

 

[Sniffer]

Does, or has, anyone had problems with their kids escaping from their car seat? Bea has just turned 18 months and can easily get her arms out of her car seat. She's started doing it every time she gets in the car and we're struggling to get her back in without World War 3 erupting.
We bought an anti escape thing from Halfords but it's designed for 2 years plus and it took her all of about 5 minutes to escape from that. It was this one:
http://washford.scene7.com/is/image/Washford/326378?$prod$

We were thinking about something like this would be better:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00FEYEF1C/ref=noref?ie=UTF8&psc=1&s=baby

But before we drop any more coin I thought I'd just ask if anyone had any experience of these things, our if any other advice could be offered.
The issue is that it's a 50 minute journey to/from nursery which is such a long time for a little one that inevitably she gets bored and wants out.
Testing is the word art the moment!

A bit late now for you Machin but the chap sat opposite me at work had exactly the same problem. On a day when his daughter did this for the umpteenth time he hit his brakes (not too hard)when there was no other traffic about and his daughter went into the seat in front. Not enough to injure her but he assured me that it never happened again. I wouldn't do it myself but if all else fails....................?

 

[machin05]

A bit late now for you Machin but the chap sat opposite me at work had exactly the same problem. On a day when his daughter did this for the umpteenth time he hit his brakes (not too hard)when there was no other traffic about and his daughter went into the seat in front. Not enough to injure her but he assured me that it never happened again. I wouldn't do it myself but if all else fails....................?

Erm, no, I don't think I'll be trying that approach to be honest!

We bought the Houdini Stop. best money we've ever spent!

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Houdini-Stop-Houdini1/dp/B0044VUXGW

 

[Jolemai]

The wife and I have been wondering about getting one of those, but the boy seems to have stopped getting his arms out now. We were thinking of getting one of these for a while:

 

[lemonjelly]

In a discussion today, a friend said that 1 adult should sit in the back with 1 child.

(NB their reasoning, was that the likelihood is that it is always either the front or rear passengers killed, & this methodology avoids orphans!)

 

[Tyrannosaurus Dan]

This is so true...

http://www.brummymummyof2.co.uk/2014/07/10-signs-you-are-owner-of-toddler-girl.html

 

[Tyrannosaurus Dan]

Is it odd that I really like watching Peppa Pig? Most parents seem to despise it. Must say something about my intelligence levels...

 

[YoungWolf]

Peppa Pig is awesome...

 

[Johnny75]

Is it odd that I really like watching Peppa Pig? Most parents seem to despise it. Must say something about my intelligence levels...

Not odd, it's pretty cleverly written. For me I get fed up with it being on over and over again, but that's my fault really for being soft as giving in to a 1 year old.

 

[Wolf Hunting]

Not odd, it's pretty cleverly written. For me I get fed up with it being on over and over again, but that's my fault really for being soft as giving in to a 1 year old.

This is all so true!

We've heard abot 40 of these stories through and through from listening to them in the front, whilst Susie watches them in the back. Now we get to see them on our phones or on Nick Jr it's fascinating to watch the thing as well as listen to them.

Why don't the cars fall off the hills when they arrive at a house which is always at the top...

But yes, well written, and droll at times.
Some of the more modern girls who do the voices for Peppa aren't as good as the original girl though...

 

[Paul]

The latest from my youngest grandson, who is just about taking himself to the potty. He was playing in the garden with his brother, when all of a sudden his brother shouts "No Joey, that's disgusting !" The daughter in law goes outside to see what has happened, to find out that Joey has taken off his nappy and done a poo in the watering can ! I suppose he saw something plastic with a round hole in the top

 

[machin05]

I love Peppa Pig and I often chuckle at it.

 

[Wolf Hunting]

One way my life has changed which I didn't anticipate, is when before Susie came along, I could fall asleep in front of MOTD, then watch it in the morning or the afternoon... well, that's all gone.
It's so hard with all the sport that's on on Sunday listening to it and successfully avoiding any mention of the scores, so that when I do get to watch it (usually Sunday night after Mrs has gone to bed) I still don't know the scores.

 

[machin05]

Bea will happily watch MoTD with me on a Sunday morning.

 

[Jolemai]

Peppa Pig is awesome...

I love Peppa Pig and I often chuckle at it.

+1

 

[machin05]

Today we had the first wee in the potty!