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Bellend commentators

Bright is the John Virgo of football, despite being average at their chosen sport they both feel the need to criticise players at every opportunity when they perceive that they have made an error.
 
Trevor Francis seemed to get his knickers in a bit of a twist at the weekend when Stears wasn't given a 2nd yellow and the penalty wasn't given.
 
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Dublin Drummer Wolf said:
Whos the guy that shouts all the time? Think he started on Channel 5 and is on the BBC now? Youngish, gravelly sorta cockney, south-coast accent?
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Jonathan Pierce, he was actually quite funny when on Channel 5. He blatantly over egged it, seemingly in keeping with Channel 5 being less stuffy than the Beeb. He has toned it down dramatically ever since he has been on the BBC.

I quite like Collymore both as pundit and commentator. (is there a run away and hide icon?)
 
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NoodleWolf said:
Trevor Francis seemed to get his knickers in a bit of a twist at the weekend when Stears wasn't given a 2nd yellow and the penalty wasn't given at the weekend.
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Hmmmm - trevor francis is bricking it that blues are going down
 
broughtonwolf said:
Jonathan Pierce, he was actually quite funny when on Channel 5. He blatantly over egged it, seemingly in keeping with Channel 5 being less stuffy than the Beeb. He has toned it down dramatically ever since he has been on the BBC.
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I quite liked Pierce when he was on 5. He come out with some really shit clichés which were actually funny because they were shit.
 
Pearce is ok. He has the gift of just ignoring Lawrenson whenever he tries his hilarious jokes. That'll do for me.
 
I remember watching Alan Green outside Molineux once, saying he lhow much he liked Wolves and the fans as they epitomised the game. Nice words Alan but you're still an opinionated cock.

Trevor Francis is remarkably consistent - always completely wrong or completely bleedin' obvious.
 
Deutsch Wolf said:
Pearce is ok. He has the gift of just ignoring Lawrenson whenever he tries his hilarious jokes. That'll do for me.
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That was ace when he utterly ignored Lawro, not once but twice in the same game within 10 minutes. Lawro never attempted a shit gag for the rest of the game.
 
Chris Coleman is by far the worst. I wish he would go back to managing somebody insignificant like Coventry so everybody can just forget out him and move on. Tony Cottee never fails to get on my nerves when I watch Soccer Saturday as well, he simply refuses to get excited about anybody but West Ham and Leicester.

I can take or leave Steve Claridge, he seems quite knowledgeable on the Football League Show but he's also a complete tool.

Who's everybody's favourite commentator/pundit? I honestly don't think I have one, although I don't mind Alan Smith, even if his voice is a bit funny and he talks up Arsenal too much. Ray Wilkins has talked a lot of sense since he's been on Sky and I hope he continues on with them.
 
I like Tony Gale, but only because he seems to favour Wolves.
 
Lycanthropist said:
I can take or leave Steve Claridge, he seems quite knowledgeable on the Football League Show but he's also a complete tool.
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Dunno about knowledgeable. He backed Leicester for the top two a few weeks back and they have since won one in six.

He also praised Charlton's appointment of Chris Powell because he wore a suit. He said it illustrated the sharp style with which he wanted Charlton to play and that players appreciated that kind of detail. They have lost seven out of their last eight.
 
Knowledgeable compared to to rest of the idiots (Leroy Rosenior) on that show, he seems very fair and interested in football at all levels of the game. As I said though it doesn't stop him being a tool.
 
Chris Waddle and Garth Crooks must wake up each morning and wonder how on earth they can blag a living out of talking about football.
 
Clive fucking Tyldesley.

Utter, utter nobend.

The absolute epitome of the shite modern commentator. DW was right about Peter Dreary trying for his 'Wolstenholme moment' but this fucking cretin started it. The problem is, he has yet to have his 'moment' (and if anyone thinks 'and Solsjkaer has won it' is anything other than the most bog standard bleedin' obvious bland, overblown tripe then they're clearly only a simple Man Utd fan unable to think of any other 'poignant' quote) and he never will. Because he's a fucking idiot.

His irritating way of over-pronouncing foreign names is another ball ache. The way he says 'Totti' for example - it sounds similar to how I address my 6 month old daughter. Who the hell is 'Doddeeeee'? You don't need to constantly patronise us, we're not tourists. And you're really showing your cultured fucking wisdom. Well, until you forgot to pronounce it the same way mere minutes later and actually said 'Totti' like the rest of the English speaking world.

Oh - I forgot 'Podolski - BANG!'-gate. World Cup Semi Final 2006 - Clive's turn to make a name in the history books (because let's face it - no fucker would be stupid enough to listen to him in the World Cup final - everyone - including Clive's mum - would see sense and choose the BBC coverage). So he went to town that night. EVERY 5 minutes we got a Clive-ism. But frustratingly from Planet Twatface's most famous resident, the action didn't match the many lines of sheer gibberish. Lucas Podolski then hit a shot from 25 yards. If it would have gone in, it would have been a screamer and sent Germany through to the final. Clive knew this. So, what wonderful choice of poetic brilliance did Mr T utter to millions of people as Podolski lined up the shot? "Podolski - BANG!"

Take a bow William fucking Shakespeare. If you want your MBE Clive, you're going to have to do a lot better than that. And it might help if you stop reminding us that Fabio and Raphael happen to be twins. We sort of figured that out for ourselves, you moron.

I have to put up with this utter tosspiece way too often. Why haven't trading standards shut ITV down? Kids could be watching this coverage. They will get the wrong idea about what should and shouldn't be acceptable behaviour for a broadcast of a football match. Frankly, if kids start using Clive-isms in every day life, I'd be in favour of re-introducing capital punishment, starting in schools.

If Clive Tyldesley was a milkshake, he would be diarrhea flavour.
 
If Clive was to ever write a autobiography, i fully expect Langdales post to be on the back of the book.
 
Langdale Wolf said:
Clive $#@!ing Tyldesley.

Utter, utter nobend.

The absolute epitome of the $#@!e modern commentator. DW was right about Peter Dreary trying for his 'Wolstenholme moment' but this $#@!ing cretin started it. The problem is, he has yet to have his 'moment' (and if anyone thinks 'and Solsjkaer has won it' is anything other than the most bog standard bleedin' obvious bland, overblown tripe then they're clearly only a simple Man Utd fan unable to think of any other 'poignant' quote) and he never will. Because he's a $#@!ing idiot.

His irritating way of over-pronouncing foreign names is another ball ache. The way he says 'Totti' for example - it sounds similar to how I address my 6 month old daughter. Who the hell is 'Doddeeeee'? You don't need to constantly patronise us, we're not tourists. And you're really showing your cultured $#@!ing wisdom. Well, until you forgot to pronounce it the same way mere minutes later and actually said 'Totti' like the rest of the English speaking world.

Oh - I forgot 'Podolski - BANG!'-gate. World Cup Semi Final 2006 - Clive's turn to make a name in the history books (because let's face it - no $#@!er would be stupid enough to listen to him in the World Cup final - everyone - including Clive's mum - would see sense and choose the BBC coverage). So he went to town that night. EVERY 5 minutes we got a Clive-ism. But frustratingly from Planet $#@!face's most famous resident, the action didn't match the many lines of sheer gibberish. Lucas Podolski then hit a shot from 25 yards. If it would have gone in, it would have been a screamer and sent Germany through to the final. Clive knew this. So, what wonderful choice of poetic brilliance did Mr T utter to millions of people as Podolski lined up the shot? "Podolski - BANG!"

Take a bow William $#@!ing Shakespeare. If you want your MBE Clive, you're going to have to do a lot better than that. And it might help if you stop reminding us that Fabio and Raphael happen to be twins. We sort of figured that out for ourselves, you moron.

I have to put up with this utter tosspiece way too often. Why haven't trading standards shut ITV down? Kids could be watching this coverage. They will get the wrong idea about what should and shouldn't be acceptable behaviour for a broadcast of a football match. Frankly, if kids start using Clive-isms in every day life, I'd be in favour of re-introducing capital punishment, starting in schools.

If Clive Tyldesley was a milkshake, he would be diarrhea flavour.
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Thats a lot of words to say "He is a cunt"
 
Langdale Wolf said:
Clive fucking Tyldesley.

Utter, utter nobend.

The absolute epitome of the shite modern commentator. DW was right about Peter Dreary trying for his 'Wolstenholme moment' but this fucking cretin started it. The problem is, he has yet to have his 'moment' (and if anyone thinks 'and Solsjkaer has won it' is anything other than the most bog standard bleedin' obvious bland, overblown tripe then they're clearly only a simple Man Utd fan unable to think of any other 'poignant' quote) and he never will. Because he's a fucking idiot.

His irritating way of over-pronouncing foreign names is another ball ache. The way he says 'Totti' for example - it sounds similar to how I address my 6 month old daughter. Who the hell is 'Doddeeeee'? You don't need to constantly patronise us, we're not tourists. And you're really showing your cultured fucking wisdom. Well, until you forgot to pronounce it the same way mere minutes later and actually said 'Totti' like the rest of the English speaking world.

Oh - I forgot 'Podolski - BANG!'-gate. World Cup Semi Final 2006 - Clive's turn to make a name in the history books (because let's face it - no fucker would be stupid enough to listen to him in the World Cup final - everyone - including Clive's mum - would see sense and choose the BBC coverage). So he went to town that night. EVERY 5 minutes we got a Clive-ism. But frustratingly from Planet Twatface's most famous resident, the action didn't match the many lines of sheer gibberish. Lucas Podolski then hit a shot from 25 yards. If it would have gone in, it would have been a screamer and sent Germany through to the final. Clive knew this. So, what wonderful choice of poetic brilliance did Mr T utter to millions of people as Podolski lined up the shot? "Podolski - BANG!"

Take a bow William fucking Shakespeare. If you want your MBE Clive, you're going to have to do a lot better than that. And it might help if you stop reminding us that Fabio and Raphael happen to be twins. We sort of figured that out for ourselves, you moron.

I have to put up with this utter tosspiece way too often. Why haven't trading standards shut ITV down? Kids could be watching this coverage. They will get the wrong idea about what should and shouldn't be acceptable behaviour for a broadcast of a football match. Frankly, if kids start using Clive-isms in every day life, I'd be in favour of re-introducing capital punishment, starting in schools.

If Clive Tyldesley was a milkshake, he would be diarrhea flavour.
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So, do you rate him or not?
 
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